'I wanted a baby boy so desperately, I packed up my three girls and flew overseas.'

Although Lucy* had always wanted a family, becoming a first time mother came as a shock. After giving birth to her little girl, Lucy experienced a difficult recovery and an even more difficult – and painful – breastfeeding experience. 

"At one point we called an ambulance to our house. It was something that felt like a panic attack," shares Lucy. 

"I was not sure what was going on, and I had a newborn baby completely dependent on me."

Watch: how to help a choking baby. Article continues after the video.

Over time, Lucy began to relish being a mum and 18 months later, gave birth to a second baby girl. A year and a half after that, she gave birth to her third daughter. 

"We now have three girls and they are the best of friends. We realise we are lucky in many ways and we are grateful for that," says Lucy. 

Although Lucy and her husband loved their family of five, something still felt like it was still missing. 

"When we started our family, the dream was to see each other's faces on our children," says Lucy. 

"It may sound cliche, but to see my husband's face on a little boy really was like a beautiful dream."

But after having three girls, Lucy started to feel the pressure of what it might mean to continue trying for more children, until – and if – they had a baby boy. 

"What it would mean to our family, ever expanding, maybe beyond our means, and putting pressure on everyone in this family."

Then Lucy heard about gender selection through IVF. In Australia, the process is illegal. Overseas though, it's a different story. 

"It is completely legal in other countries such as the US, Mexico, Italy, Dubai and Thailand. 

"So as Australian citizens, the only option was medical tourism, flying the whole family to one of these countries, in order to access this service.

"IVF can be very lengthy and costly, even in your own home country. Often it takes… two to three months as a best case scenario, if the procedure is successful on the first try. Which means the whole family would be in a foreign country, in this process together, away from our home country."

To Lucy, the prospect of a little boy was worth it, so she packed up her family, and took off. 

Unfortunately, that round of IVF was unsuccessful, so Lucy, her husband, and their three daughters returned to Australia without their much-wanted fourth pregnancy. 

Due to the time and financial costs Lucy says she's not sure when or if they can take such a big step again. 

"To leave our jobs, the kids to leave their school and kinder, and go again for two to three months is a big ask and comes at a huge cost."

On top of that, Lucy says the experience has taken a huge toll on her mental health. 

"I have struggled with depression and anxiety. And as an Australian, I can see that this trickles down into society. My health and well being is important, as is that of those around me."

In Australia, gender selection is illegal, unless there are medical reasons. In 2017, Australia's peak medical council, the National Health and Medical Research Council, chose to uphold an existing ban. 

"Sex selection techniques may not be used unless it is to reduce the risk of transmission of a genetic condition, disease or abnormality that would severely limit the quality of life of the person who would be born," the guidelines state.

But Lucy is trying to change that, having recently launched a Change.org petition urging the Minister for Health and Aged Care, Mark Butler, to consider the   issue and make the changes necessary to pass the bill and make it legal.

"We are asking that this is legalised so that myself and other Australians can have access to this here, in our own home country. Australia is one of the most progressive countries and a wonderful place to live. We are just asking that we have the right to choose in this important area of our life, and let each individual make that choice whether or not they want to use it."

An question of ethics. 

As well as arguments around its impact on gender population, gender selection also raises important ethical questions for many. 

"To be honest, if you asked me a few years ago, I might have said the same," says Lucy. 

"It would have been so easy for me to have an opinion on this from the sidelines. However now that I am in the middle of it, I can see what the toll is."

For Lucy, it's not about what the world should look like, but how parents feel when they have children. 

"The world should not be gender biased or should not have any preference when it comes to the gender of their kids (and) people should be happy with any gender and should be thankful.

"Well the reality is, that is not how the world actually is. And looking around, I can see that this issue affects many people, from all walks of life, from all backgrounds."

"The things mothers go through, to raise and nourish their families, are really nothing short of remarkable. 

"The sacrifice, sleepless nights, physical toll, and work they put in everyday is really gigantic. And so, to deny mothers the help they are asking for, is really going to undermine society as a whole, and put a strain on families."

Despite her three healthy girls and a failed attempt at IVF, Lucy feels as though she's living in "limbo" as they try to figure out how to make their dream a reality. 

"That's where the anxiety comes in. Not knowing how it will turn out, whether it will happen. Without this option, the odds aren't very good and it feels like gambling with little lives."

Lucy says having a little boy would be a dream come true, and allow them to "complete" their family. 

"It would give us a sense of closure and control over our life."

To view or sign the petition click here: https://www.change.org/p/legalise-gender-selection-in-ivf-procedures-in-australia

*name has been changed.

Feature image: Getty.