'It's relentless.' 5 things Gemma Peanut has learnt in the first 5 years of motherhood.

Parenting is difficult, exhausting and completely exhilarating – just ask Gemma Pranita. 

"Being a mum of two kids is relentless," she tells Mamamia "But delightful. It's the hardest yet most rewarding gig I've ever done."

As a parent of a three-year-old son and a newly five-year-old daughter, Gemma also juggles full-time work as a photographer, podcaster and social media creative. 

And while it is a life she wouldn't give up for the world, motherhood has been an experience that has come with a lot of, er, rather hard lessons. 

Here are the five candid lessons Gemma has learnt through five years of motherhood. 

1. Outsource where you can. 

Gemma doesn't want any parent to feel guilt for outsourcing. As a mother of two with so many balls to juggle, she urges other mothers to outsource where they can – whether it's ordering groceries to be delivered over physically grabbing them yourself, carpooling the kids with another school parent for an afternoon activity drop-off, or a hand with life admin from a loved one.

"I know in myself that I am a better parent when I have micro-breaks. I also get to fill my cup with creativity in my work. And I know that not everyone enjoys their job, and I can understand that challenge. I really love my job and I feel really lucky and grateful in that respect," she says. "So if the kids are being minded while I'm somewhere else, [it means that] when I'm back with them, I am consciously more present."

2. Be prepared for light bladder leakage.

Bladder leakage is something not too many women talk about, but it's a classic thing most mothers go through, says Gemma.

The "risky business" of daring to laugh too hard or sneeze is one of those constant fears that Gemma says she is perpetually living "in fear" of. 

More women than you might realise have to deal with light bladder leakage: surprisingly, almost 1 in 3 Aussie women over 35 experience bladder leakage.

For Gemma, it was a rather surprising discovery she made after the birth of her now five-year-old daughter. 

"After my first, my pelvic floor just stopped functioning as well it used to," she tells Mamamia. "My light bladder leakage started. Since having two kids, it's been an ongoing thing I've learnt to manage."

"The pressure of a sneeze will just set it right off! [And so does] jumping a trampoline – I'm sure many women can relate to that," she laughs. "But I'm a huge fan of the reusable undies by Poise, and the liners too. They're a much more comfortable option than period pads, 'cos they're actually built for the job at hand – and I love that they're an option that's become so much more freely talked about.

"What surprised me is my lack of doing anything about it," she explains. "Being a mum with two kids and working full-time means I just put myself on the bottom of the to-do list. I just don't prioritise my own health, which is not great at all.

"I think you need a constant reminder to put yourself first and remember that putting yourself first isn't saying, 'Me first.' It's saying, 'Me too.'"

Image: Instagram @gemma_peanut.

3. Don't give up what you love. 

Gemma is passionate for parents, particularly mothers, to keep intentional time aside for yourself to use however you please. That's time dedicated to yourself, and honouring any hobbies or rituals important to your identity before you became a parent. For Gemma, filling her cup has come from more than just motherhood – from spending time her two kids to being a photographer and social media creative.

"[Parenting] I think is one of the hardest and most thankless jobs in the world. And I would just not bring my best self if I didn't have other ways to express myself, too." 

4. Create boundaries and stand by them.

Weekends for Gemma are not only a boundary she has set for herself, they are sacred – and she won't budge on that. 

"I've got really healthy boundaries," she says. "Weekends are sacred for me because it is my time to spend with the kids and spend time with myself too. And I'm immovable on that."

5. The joy and pride you feel for your children will surprise you. 

For Gemma, she learnt early on that parenting means you don't always have the answer. In fact, sometimes it is better if you don't. 

"I think for me, I really struggle with when kids have a problem with how you cut up their sandwich or when you peel a banana and you break it in half, but they didn't want you to break it in half or you have broken in half wrong," she explains. "Like as a 37-year-old woman, I zoom out of myself in those moments and I'm like, 'Why am I having this negotiation with a three-year-old over how I peeled a banana?'"

She continues, But kids force you into a level of presence. They don't care what else is going on. In that moment, you peel the banana incorrectly and you have no choice but to meet them where they're at. Because if you dismiss it, it just gets worse!"

Image: Instagram @gemma_peanut.

But perhaps what has surprised Gemma most is the pride she feels for her kids when they do something for the first time.

"It's the part of parenting no one prepared me for," she says. "That first experience of feeling proud of your child. It caught me off guard. The first time your kid learns to put their head underwater when they've been scared to for so long. And then they bob up to the surface. And they go, 'I did it, Mummy,' and you just go, 'Yeah.' Those kinds of things are a gift."

Try Poise to keep you feeling protected and enjoy doing the things you love without fear of leaks. Find Poise at your local Coles, Woolies and pharmacy, or request your free sample kit.

Gemma Pranita is the podcast host of the new season of Hello Bump.

Feature Image: Instagram @gemma_peanut.