'When my parents were dying, my sister said I'd inherit almost nothing. Then I saw their will.'

As told to Ann DeGrey

My sister Ella* and I were always close as kids. But from our late teens, she turned against me. I always had much more attention from boys, so I'm guessing that caused her jealousy. 

Whenever I had a boyfriend, she'd try to sabotage my relationships. When I was 18, I met my first love and Ella was quick to ruin that – she told him I was cheating on him, which was an absolute lie. He broke up with me, saying he couldn't trust me. I'll never know why he believed Ella and not me.

And then she did a similar thing with my next boyfriend – telling him I was still in love with my last boyfriend. That was the beginning of the end of that relationship. She never had a serious boyfriend until she met her now-husband, so she'd do whatever she could to make sure I was single too.

Watch: Mia Freedman explains the term Gaslighting and how to know if it's happening to you. Post continues after video.

I can see past all this as just youthful mistakes. But what she has done to sabotage my relationship with our parents is just unforgivable.

Our mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and that has been absolutely devastating. Then six months later, Dad was diagnosed with dementia – it was a dreadful time for us.  

Ella is a lawyer, and she told me it would be best if she spoke to our parents about their will. As the elder sibling, she was also the executor of the will and I didn't have a problem with that.  

Ella dealt with the paperwork while I kept up the emotional support. I spent a lot of time with my parents, cooking for them and taking my kids over to help distract them.

I always felt very loved by my parents, which is why what happened next was so devastating.

They were both going downhill and there were days when they didn't recognise me. One day Mum looked at my two daughters and asked "Who are these children?" So it was clear to me that they probably didn't have long to live.

I asked Ella if she'd sorted out their wills. I didn’t think there'd be any dramas. But she looked at me with a look of pity and said, "Yes, and you're not going to be happy."

She then told me our parents decided to leave the bulk of their money to her because they both see me as being difficult. "They want their will to reflect the relationship they’ve had with us and they see you as having betrayed them," she said. I was speechless. 

According to Ella, my parents wanted to leave me their car and furniture while Ella was getting their house, which was worth around $2 million. I couldn't understand this, as I knew my parents loved me – unless I was completely deluded. 

"Dad said he will never forgive you for staying in touch with his brother," Ella said. "He thinks you deceived him." 

Now, this was ridiculous. My father and his brother stopped talking to each other many years ago after a huge argument. But, as far as I was concerned, he was still my uncle and there was no reason why I should cut him out of my life. I caught up with him now and then. Surely this wasn't a reason why I was excluded from so much of the will? 

By the time Ella told me all of this, our parents were too far gone. They no longer recognised any family member, they were struggling to look after themselves and we had no choice but to put them into a nursing home. 

I was grieving for them long before they died. But I was devastated to think my parents thought less of me than they did of Ella. My sister acted as though she was sympathetic by saying, "I'm sure they did love you in their own way." She even told me I had every right to contest the will. 

They died within a few months of each other, and I was inconsolable. Their dying was made worse for me, knowing through Ella that they didn't think much of me.  

But when I saw their will, I realised that Ella had lied to me. Our parents had stipulated that we were to have an equal share of everything. She was not getting more than me!

I confronted Ella, asking her why she lied to me. Being a lawyer, she was able to dodge my questions and tell me she was led to believe I wasn't being left as much as she was – I knew this was complete rubbish as she was the executor of the will.

My feeling is that she was always jealous of my close relationship with my parents and wanted me, at the end of their lives, to think that they didn't love me as much as they loved her. 

I ended up contesting the will and getting my fair share of my parents' home but I no longer speak to my sister – this was the worst case of gaslighting I have ever experienced and I am still scarred by her actions nearly a decade later.

*Name has been changed for privacy reasons.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.

Feature image: Getty.