dating

What to do when your family and friends don't like your partner.

I think it’s safe to assume that Kieren Jack’s parents don’t like his girlfriend Charlotte Goodlet. Not all families play out their drama on Twitter so the whole world can breathe in their dirty laundry and while allowing the media to turn your family tiff into a sad circus.

A quick recap: AFL Sydney Swans captain Kieren Jack’s parents took to Twitter to complain that their son hadn’t given them tickets to his 200th game, instead giving them to girlfriend Charlotte Goodlet’s parents.

What followed was a very public airing of the fact his parents don’t approve of Charlotte.

You can read more about it in "Footy player's model girlfriend blamed for very public family feud."

So what do you do when the people who love and care for you are giving you not so subtle hints that the new person you are gushing about is not right for you?

Can they see something in your blind spot?"

I once had a girlfriend who my family quite openly told me they just didn't like, as did my boss and some of my closest friends.

I ignored them. I just thought they couldn't see all the good I could see. Maybe I was blinded by love or maybe I was willing to overlook her faults, because nobody is perfect.

Jack addressed the media in the lead up to the game. Article continues after this video. 

It wasn't until we broke up that I saw all those people were right. The difference between my situation and Kieren Jack's was that my family and friends never gave me an ultimatum. There was no battle.

There was no ultimatum.

My girlfriend never knew they didn't like her. They chose to support me and be there for me whatever I chose to do with my relationship.

You would like to assume that the people who love you only have your best interests at heart, so why do we choose not to believe them? I know people who have lost lifelong friends because they dared voice an unflattering opinion about a new beau.

I have a friend who has just moved in and gotten engaged to a new girl. He is a self-made millionaire and she is a stay at home single mum who needs to get married to stay in the country.

I keep whispering in his ears the words "prenup" but apart from physically kidnapping him and dropping him off at his lawyer’s office what can I do?

When I look back at the relationship with the girl that nobody liked, if I had listened to my friends and family, I wouldn't have learnt the lesson. Sometimes you've just got to learn for yourself. You don't know how hot a fire is until you get too close, no matter how many times someone tells you.

So if your friends and family are telling you something you don't like, maybe listen, take their council and choose to use it or ignore it. Either way don't drop your friends and family, because if you do fall and get hurt there the ones who are going to pick you up.

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Top Comments

Anon 8 years ago

One should always keep good counsel. Families and friends should remain respectful of your choices and any mistakes are yours to make. Partners are coupling with each other, not the partner's family or friends.


guest 8 years ago

That's the thing. If your family's intentions are genuine, with your well-being and happiness first - not some agenda of their own - they behave rationally and don't isolate you or make you choose. They stick around and support you, but I think say something to you clearly and calmly. Any parents who pit themselves in a competition against a partner, or act childish or hysterically aren't going to be taken seriously, or their point come across. They'll appear irrational and like there's an ulterior motive of their own.