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PICS: Apparently dead fish are now dead sexy. (NSFW)

Warning: This post features images that are Not Safe for Work. They are also Not Safe for Fishtank.

There are some things that you just know to be true.

One of those things is this: Fish are not sexy.

But as some German fish enthusiasts will tell you, that’s a load of carp.

Meet the sexy carp calender.

And when we say sexy carp calender – we don’t mean fish in bikinis.

We mean women in bikinis (or wearing nothing) holding large fish. You know, internet prawn. Like this:

You don’t need to be a brain sturgeon to work it out: a big juicy dead fish, held by a seemingly nonplussed woman in a tangerine bikini. They’re not being koi.

The calendar, known as The Carponizer (which sounds like an Arnold Schwarzenegger film from the early 80s) is designed to promote carp fishing in Germany.

On their website they describe the calender as a ‘treat for men’. Yes, a TREAT. They say on their website:

During the shoot greatest emphasis was placed on the well-being of carp and cute women. Who hereby can not make friends, we recommend the fish fingers calendar, where everything is hidden under a crispy breading. The Carponizer carp Calendar is a treat for the men’s heart beat faster. * High quality offset printing refined with Varnish * 12 nice pictures to look at * 30 x 42 cm * unique in the quality of the recordings !! * Spiral bound * Angel Calendar

Heart beat faster, indeed! What a treat it is to have the op-perch-tuna-ty to see women holding dead fish against their breasts:

And of course it was released just in time for Christmas. The beautiful union of the human and fish form is cod’s gift to everyone.

 

 

And if it ever goes missing, check whether it has been stuck up in the darkest corner of your fishtank. The fish are naked too.

 

Tags: women

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Top Comments

FLYINGDALE FLYER 10 years ago

I hate to carp on about it,but tis a bit odd


Australian Fisherman 10 years ago

Carp are an introduced pest species and are a seriously destructive and damaging environmental hazard for our waterways. Whatever get's peoples attention about this is fine with me.

Guest 10 years ago

Its a German calendar - carp are a delicacy in much of Europe and are even the centrepiece of Christmas dinner in several countries! I guess that makes it the perfect XXXmas gift! :)

Australian Fisherman 10 years ago

Thanks for clearing that up for me Guest, I did actually miss the reference to it being a German calendar, my mistake there.

To add, I have caught many carp and used traditional German techniques to prepare and cook them. eg allowing several days in fresh water to get all the mud out of them. They still tasted like crap (that's a play of words on carp) lol

I'd still love if we could get them out of our waterways though.