The best advice for women who want to be successful? Marry for money, of course.

Some could say that Cinderella has a lot to answer for. Presumably her life was pretty sweet after her handsome (and wealthy) Prince finally tracked her down via a very dubious method of confirmation (I mean, come on, you mean to tell me that there weren’t at least 100 other girls in that village with a size 8 and a half?) and married her, living happily ever after. I digress.

Is it any wonder after being fed this and other Disney fairy tales as young girls, that some women now not only hunger to find their real life Prince, they also set their sights upon one that will be wealthy enough to support them so that they can then go ahead and indulge their own creative ambitions?

Author Elizabeth Gilbert, best known for the ridiculously successful book ‘Eat Pray Love’ is especially disturbed by this phenomenon, taking to her Facebook recently to air her concerns publicly.

Dear Ones —

Help me to understand something.

In the past year, I have overheard no fewer than four women in my personal acquaintance suggest that their lives would be completely solved (and that their creative potential would be completely realised) if only they had married (or could marry) a rich man.

Gilbert goes on to share her dismay at what she perceives as ridiculous intentions by smart, successful and independent women.

Gilbert is dismayed by ridiculous intentions by smart, successful and independent women wanting to marry for money.

These are women whom I have admired for years. They are different in age, in background, in passions, in upbringing — but they are each strong and smart and competent and completely healthy in mind and body. And each one of them still dreams of snagging a guy with money, who will (presumably) remove all their obstacles and solve all their problems.

The most startling example was a woman who is a powerful, famous writer. This woman is ardent and outspoken feminist. An example to all human sisterhood. A person I have looked up to forever. We did a reading together recently. A young, female audience member asked her, “What advice to you do you have for aspiring writers?” The famous author replied: “Marry a rich man.”

When I heard this, my soul let out an anguished howl. I simply could not contain myself. I cried out, “NOOOOOO!”

Apparently, according to the other famous writer, it is simply impossible for women to both write creatively AND pay their own bills. Say what now? Not surprisingly, Gilbert had a few words to say about this.

People, listen to me. I wrote my first two books when I was a diner waitress and bartender. I worked as a nanny and a cook, and I stocked other people’s books in a bookstore. I did whatever work I had to do, and I honed my craft in my stolen hours. Hours that belonged solely to ME, because I had bought them myself.

Toni Morrison wrote her first books as a single mother. She did it by getting up at 4:00am while her young son slept, and putting in the hours at the typewriter before she went to her fulltime paycheck-earning job.

My friend Ann Patchett wrote her first books while she was a broke-ass waitress at TGI Fridays in Nashville.

Her friend, the poet Lucy Greeley, wrote her books while she was in numberless hospitals, enduring countless reconstructive surgeries from a lifetime spent battling bone cancer.

Cheryl Strayed, Anne Lamott, Sue Monk Kidd, J.K. Rowling… do you want me to go on?

There are no rich men in any of these stories.

Indeed. So why then are women still of the belief that to fulfill their own dreams, they need to be bankrolled by a wealthy gentleman that they may not even share an affinity with? Gilbert asks the same baffling question.

Please help me to understand, then, why this fantasy of the rich man endures. Why would a brilliant, gifted, healthy, powerful woman still hold to the hope that someday a Mr. Darcey will arrive, and open up a world of possibilities that she somehow cannot open for herself?

Whenever I hear this fantasy expressed, in any form, I want to say, “WHERE IS YOUR DIGNITY, WOMAN?”

I was practically a baby in the cradle when I first heard Gloria Steinem say that we should strive to become the men we always wanted to marry. I took it to heart. That was 40 years ago. Does it need to be said again?

AUTONOMY IS THE GOD OF WOMEN. Never forget that.

Hell, autonomy is the god of everyone.

Word.

Is this really even a thing or did Gilbert simply hear a minority voice their opinions? Or, is this a reality. Are there still women out there actively seeking a man to marry to take care of them financially so they can chase their own dreams?  How can this be character building? How can you write about struggle or real life when your hardest decision that day is whether to wear the black or the red Hermes scarf?

Is the answer then to start raising girls to be strong, confident and independent women, capable of relying on their own strengths, not needing to supported financially by a male to fulfil their life’s goals? Should we all know adversity and struggle to be able to write with courage, conviction and let’s face it, any kind of cred?

Elizabeth Gilbert is speaking at Deakin Edge, Federation Square on March 4 for the Wheeler Centre. Bookings at wheelercentre.com

Have you ever known someone who is actively searching for a wealthy partner to snag so they can go do what they want in life? Is a man ever a financial plan?