The 2016 national election is just a sleep away and the first day of Dry July is upon us.
And if, like me, you find the idea of a sober election night more terrifying than Christmas with your extended family, fear not. We’ve got a failsafe raft of measures here to help you through.
Consider your event options wisely.
Given that election night falls on a Saturday, it's unlikely you'll struggle to find something to do in your respective town or city. But this is election night, forget about your average night out.
This one night is basically the Oscars of Australian politics. There's lots of old, white, rich men in suits patting themselves on the back for being masters of the universe and a criminally under-appreciated MVP crying somewhere like they're Leonardo DiCaprio.
This calls for thinking outside the average Saturday night box, so plan ahead and assess your options wisely. Because who wants to watch the Oscars with a sports fan?
No one, that's who.
Ensure your phone is fully charge before leaving the house.
The reality of every election is that the local candidate and party you hope to win may not get elected. But that's okay, because there's always another one!
For now though, you can easily curb that burning desire to drink by heading to social media for some fiery keyboarding. Should your person / party of choice win, congratulations. Your night can be dedicated to happy sober selfies.
Drink like you're still drinking.
Some people say living in denial is a bad thing, but sometimes a healthy little wine glass sized dose of it can be good for you, just ask Tony Abbott!
To avoid your friends asking you over and over again why you're choosing sobriety, just make them believe that you're not.
Drink soda water with lime. Close your eyes and pretend it's a gin and tonic. Or cranberry juice in a wine glass. Mmm that's a nice pinot. Sparkling apple juice from a champagne flute! Tres fancy.
Assign your calories accurately.
Everyone knows that alcohol is just empty calories - so why not assign your weekend's worth to a more meaningful cause - chocolate and ice cream.
While your friends and partner may be going home to face plant themselves into some pillows, you'll be stone cold sober. So end your night with a big old, pint sized bender.
You've stayed sober on election night, you deserve it.
Top Comments
Dry July has been a really good initiative for just the reasons the folks below are deriding the concept. For some, it has been a realisation of just how much of an impact alcohol consumption has on the life of some people. For others it has provided some really good tools to manage a sober or decreased consumption life. At the very least it is raising funds for people like myself to keep providing service to those who cant change their behaviours as easily. Australia has an alcohol abuse problem, but it has been shown that negative, critical and consequence based initiatives dont work. What has been effective is positive messages, information and self determination - a person realising they have a problem and finding solutions that work for them.
Why do dry July if all you ever do is miss your beloved alcohol? I rarely drink and it never comes to my mind when I am celebrating or going through life's ups and downs. If you need alcohol to get through anything you have a problem.