This story mentions suicide.
Mia Bannister had a fierce bond with her son Ollie from the day he was born.
"He was my everything, absolutely. From the day he came into the world with that red hair, he was everything," she tells Mamamia.
A single parent from when Ollie was two, Mia and her little boy quickly became "pretty inseparable", especially because he was her only child.
Watch: Two mums with very different opinions speak up about the social media ban for kids. Post continues after video.
"We went everywhere together, we went on cruises together, we went up north to visit friends together," Mia, 51, recalls.
Later they would enjoy movie nights and "rule-free Fridays" with ice cream for dinner.
Their connection was so strong, everyone commented on it.
"We went on a cruise once when he was seven and we were followed around by a photographer," she shares. "When we went to collect the photographs, the photographer said 'I've never seen anything like it. You two are mother and son, but best mates.'"
"All my friends would tell you; it was the 'Ollie and Mia Show' from when he was tiny. He was my world and my everything," Mia shares.
While cheeky, bright and intelligent, Mia says as an only child Ollie was also "beyond his years".
"He was an old soul; I've said that from the day he was born. He just looked like this little old man who'd been here before."
But above all, Mia says, "I had a happy, healthy little boy."
That all changed when Ollie started high school.
One night, Ollie confided in his mum that he was being bullied, showing her Snapchat messages from two other boys telling him to "kill himself".
Mia spoke to the parents of the boys. "In what world is it right to say that?" she says.
She also arranged for her son to see a psychologist, which seemed to help.
But by the time he reached Year 8, Ollie started to refuse to go to school. This eventually resulted in 125 days of absence, which severely impacted his mental health.
"He had no self-worth," Mia says. "I'd get ready for work and say, 'Come on, mate, you've got to go to school'. But he wouldn't."
Soon, his appetite was affected.
While he used to enjoy home-cooked meals of spaghetti bolognese, enchiladas, and beef stew with his mum, Ollie started preparing his own food.
But it wasn't about fussiness or wanting to eat junk food. Instead, Ollie had become obsessed with every single calorie he consumed after viewing countless fitness videos on TikTok.
"He was looking up stuff like what nutrients should I be eating, what calories should I be eating. And then it's 'I'm eating my micronutrients; I'm eating my maintenance calories."
Mia knew the language he was using and the habits he was forming had all been picked up from social media and for a growing boy, the messaging was toxic.
"This obsession started kicking in. I had this non-sporty kid who suddenly wanted a skateboard, he's going to play basketball, and wanted to go to the gym, wanted protein powders."
Ollie's mood changed. He became miserable and irritable.
"It was like this kid had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He told me he hated himself; he was so down on himself," Mia says.
Mia didn't notice his weight loss at first as it was hidden under baggy clothes, but soon it was visible.
She began taking her son to monthly doctor's appointments, that soon became every three weeks, then fortnightly, then weekly. Nothing helped. She would later learn that as well as restricting food, her son was purging.
Between February and December 2023, Ollie's weight dropped so drastically, that he had to be admitted to hospital, where he was immediately put on a nasal gastric tube.
There he was officially diagnosed with anorexia nervosa although Mia had known for months her son was suffering from an eating disorder — one that had been "completely fueled by social media".
During his hospital stay, Ollie wasn't even allowed to get out of bed.
"He had to have someone with him to supervise him 24/7 and it was six supervised meals per day," Mia recalls.
If meals were refused, he'd be fed via the tube. During his entire stay, Ollie only ate one meal voluntarily.
"It broke my heart. I'm sitting there looking at my beautiful little boy… and I'm not dealing with him. I'm dealing with a disease."
Mia spent every day in the hospital with her son, juggling work and other responsibilities.
"He was throwing stuff at me because he didn't want to eat. You try to give them encouraging words like 'The eating disorder is really strong in you today but you're doing really well today'. That's what they tell you to say. You have to separate the child from the disease, but it's so hard."
Eventually, Ollie put on the required amount of weight to be discharged for a week in January 2024.
At first, Mia was taking him to work with her so she could supervise his meals, but after a few days, Ollie complained of being bored.
Eventually, Mia agreed he could stay at home as long as he FaceTimed her at each meal.
For the first couple of days, Ollie appeared to be doing well. When Mia forgot to call him at afternoon tea one day, he called her — telling her he'd eaten it and asking what was for dinner.
Her son asking about his next meal gave Mia so much hope.
"We had steak sangas that night. He was in good spirits."
The next morning, Ollie got up. "While he didn't seem as bubbly as the day before, he still seemed okay," Mia recalls.
Still reluctant to leave him, Mia had a breakfast of avocado and toast with her son — before heading off to work.
At lunchtime, she tried to call Ollie to make sure he had eaten the sandwiches she'd made him, but got no answer. After grabbing a bite to eat with a friend, she tried again and still couldn't raise him.
"I felt sick," she says. "I reckon I felt it happen."
Mia didn't even return to work; she raced straight home to find her two dogs sitting at the bottom of the stairs staring at her.
In that moment she knew something was dreadfully wrong.
Upstairs in his bedroom, Ollie had taken his own life. He was just 14 years old.
"The rest really, really is a blur," Mia says. "He never left me a note. He left me nothing."
"I had a little boy… the whole weight of the world was on his shoulders in that last month. He just wanted peace."
***
Mia is absolute in her certainty that social media is to blame for her son's suicide.
She says it's "impossible" to truly monitor what a child that age is looking at on social media, especially as a single parent.
"I would check his phone and his computer on a regular basis, but Ollie would delete everything.
"It's so hard to police when you've been at work at all day, and you come home exhausted and you're having a fight with your teenager."
On Snapchat, where messages disappear as soon as they've been read, tweens like Ollie are especially vulnerable to bullying.
"But it was on TikTok was where all this harmful 'what I should be eating' content was," Mia says.
It seems those platforms, along with Discord - a platform where gamers communicate online, which Mia describes as "the worst" - were a lethal combination for Ollie.
Mia hopes with the recent announcement from Prime Minister Anthony Albanese that social media accounts will be banned for under 16s, that some of the bullying can be stamped out.
Listen to The Quicky where we talk about how the banning of social media under the age of 16 will have a great effect on kids' mental health. Post continues after audio.
She's also in the process of launching her own charity, Ollie's Echo: Pathways to Prevention, to raise awareness about the prevalence of eating disorders in young boys, who are typically overlooked when it comes to prevention and treatment.
"I want them to know they're not alone and that they're struggle matters," she says.
Mia also aims to warn of the dangers of social media for young people and work with other parents to protect their children, so no other mother has to suffer as she has.
***
Mia misses "everything" about Ollie.
"I miss my little boy coming running down the stairs, with that cheeky grin, asking 'what are you watching on TV, Mum?'
"The fact that we could sit together on the lounge, and he would still snuggle up, and we'd watching something on TV or he'd subject me to watching South Park."
"I miss everything about him. That bright red hair and that cheeky personality. How we'd talk about anything and everything."
Looking back, Mia realises she did have a final goodbye with her son after all.
"One night when he was out of hospital, he came to my room and said 'Mum, can I sleep in here with you?'. I said 'Mate, you're a bit too big to sleep in my bed so I got out the stretcher bed and he slept beside my bed and held my hand all night."
"Looking back I realise, that was him probably him saying goodbye, Mum."
Ollie's Echo: Pathways to Prevention will be launched in early March next year.
If you find yourself needing to talk to someone after reading this story, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14. You can also reach out to SANE Australia on 1800 187 263.
For children and young adults, Kids Helpline is available on 1800 551 800.
For help and support for eating disorders, contact the Butterfly Foundation's National Support line and online service on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673).
Feature image: Supplied.
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