Icon of my tweenage years and all-round cool girl Drew Barrymore just got majorly played online.
In unrelated news, I'm deleting all my dating apps because being single is a fiery hellscape from which even Hollywood sweethearts can't escape and all hope is lost.
I kid! I KID. Mostly because where the heck else is anyone meant to meet someone these days, at a bar? Um, okay.
While I personally have been lucky enough to escape my own personal catfishing escapades (potentially because being suspicious is my entire dating personality and I assume everyone who doesn't resemble a toad is probably just f**ing with me), Barrymore had an awkward encounter with a gentleman who was not who he said he was.
And she was (understandably) disappointed. Peeved. Still dateless.
Barrymore shared the story on her own show because what else does a person have their own show for if not... exactly this?
"This guy on my dating app said he was the quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams," she told her co-host, Ross Mathews (and if I had a dollar for every time someone told me they were the quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams I'd have absolutely nothing because we don't play American football here, c'mon keep up, guys).
"So, I wrote to him and I was like, 'Oh my God, I went to the first practice game.'"
"He was not the quarterback for the LA Rams — he’s a musician that thought he was being cute," she continued.
So now guys think lying about who they are is cute and that's one I'm not ready to unpack.
"How should I feel about this?" she asked Mathews.
But it gets worse – Oh. So. Much. Worse. He gave her a nickname and, clearly, it was way too soon for that. She's still recovering from finding out he's not a star athlete, right?
"The guy was like, 'Hey, Drewski,' and I was like, 'I hate you … You pithy, deceiving, playful — you’ve made me feel stupid. I don’t know who you are. I feel so dumb. Why did we have to get off on this foot? I hate you!'"
It's not the first time the actor's had a run in with dating apps, and can't we ALL relate to that...
"Every time I get on there it does not feel great. I always last five days," she shared on her show, and girl – hard relate.
In 2020, the actor said she had been ghosted by "a lot of people" and excuse me, sir, but who precisely is ghosting Drew heckin' Barrymore???
The 48-year-old's been pretty candid about her dating disasters life since her 2016 divorce from Will Kopelman, with whom she shares two daughters. In 2022, she explained she'd jumped back into the dating pool because she got "too good at being alone". But just a few months later the actor told Vulture magazine that romance had her "tired and exhausted" (and same, girl, same).
"I spent a lot of my life loving romance and drama and all of that. I just burnt myself out on it. I genuinely am tired and exhausted."
Drew is literally every single girlie out there.
In October 2023, the Never Been Kissed star did share that she'd been dating someone on and off for three years, saying she'd invited him to be her date at a wedding... But generally speaking, Barrymore's pretty happy just out there doing her own thing.
And no, if you're wondering, she doesn't have an... itch of any sort to scratch.
"I have very different feelings about intimacy than I did growing up," she wrote on her blog in October 2023.
"After two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters. I know that does not include a man nor has it for a while.
"I’ve come to realise through working in therapy (with Barry), he said something and I had to write it down. He said, 'Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.' I have searched my whole life to have words like that to help me understand the difference and now, thanks to him, I do."
Preach.
Feature Image: Getty.
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