lifestyle

"I reached my mid-30's and was agonisingly torn about whether I should have kids."

I had reached my mid-30s, and the biological clock had been ticking for a while – but I was still completely, agonisingly torn.

Should I have kids? Or should I keep my life as it was – simple, uncomplicated, and easy?

The answer came to me in an unexpected way, in the middle of a hot February night.

My husband and I were living in a house without air-conditioning, and we were feeling the heat. So were our two terriers, Indy and Missy. We’d just recently adopted the scruffy-looking sisters from a dog rescue home. They’d obviously been badly treated when they were pups, because they were very nervous animals.

Feeling sorry for them, we let them sleep on our bed. Bad idea. Every hot night – and there were a lot of them – they’d wake us up in the early hours of the morning so they could go outside and get some fresh air. I’d stumble out to the backyard with them, watch them trot around and sniff the grass for a while, then let them inside, and we’d all go back to sleep.

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Sealy Posturepedic. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words. 

Around 3am one night, I awoke, once again, to paws stepping restlessly over me and the sound of panting. As I sleepily sat up, the thought went through my head: this is what must be like to have a baby.

One of the biggest things that had been holding me back from getting pregnant was the worry that I would find a baby too tiring. I couldn’t imagine how I would cope with having to get up during the night and then face work the next day. But here I was, doing it for two dogs.

The next morning, when I woke up, I didn’t feel exhausted. I felt good. I started to think: maybe I could survive broken sleep. I knew from having dogs that I could deal with disgusting messes, and I had some basic idea of how to keep another creature alive. Surely I could handle anything that parenthood could throw at me?

And that was it.

Just after the end of the following summer, we welcomed our little girl. And yes, having a baby is a hundred times more difficult and complicated and messy than having a dog. But it’s a hundred times more wonderful too. And you know what? I did survive the broken sleep.

What’s one of the hardest decisions you’ve ever had to make?

Adorable babies to make your ovaries explode

 

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Top Comments

Guest 10 years ago

To have a baby or not to is a very personal decision. They are a HUGE long term responsibility and a lot of work. But if you don't have one and then you regret it when it's too late your in for (half) a life time of something missing.
I think for some of us (like myself) it wasn't even a question, having kids was something I knew I had to do. I think a lot of people who fall in this category the concept of not wanting kids is really hard to imagine given it is such a core instinct for us.

For others it is the opposite, it is something they absolutely do not want to do. This lady fell in the in between group who struggle to make the all important decision, and good for her for making the one that works for her.

My heart goes out to those who have decided they want/need kids but do not get them, for whatever reason.


Rhilly 10 years ago

I'm 31 and torn about having kids.I love my dog to bits but getting up it the middle of the night to let her out is annoying...LOL I guess I will stick to be being childfree! :)