rogue

'If you own these 10 beauty products, it tells me everything I need to know about you.'

My relationship with makeup products have been wonderful, toxic, loving, superficial, heartbreaking as well as chaotic. As a makeup wearer of over 15 years, I have a pretty good idea of the absolute chokehold some brands had and still have over my friends and I.

Looking through the products we've owed over the years, I know the sight of some of these will fill you with either wonderful nostalgia or deep cringe.

Watch: Tried and tested: The 10-pump foundation hack. Post continues below.


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Don't worry, I've got you. Take my hand as we go through all the products that have shaped us as human beings because I definitely know who you are as a person if you used any of these.

Urban Decay Naked Eyeshadow Palette.

Image: Mecca.

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If you own one of these eyeshadow palettes, I am 99 per cent sure you bought it in 2014. Every time you go to grab it, you think to yourself, "Maybe this is the reason my eyes are always itchy," before remembering how expensive it was for your parents to buy it for you on your 15th birthday so you end up using it anyway. All the colours have blended together into a pretty sparkly brown and you leave a trail of eyeshadow dust wherever you take it.

Kylie Cosmetics Lip Kit.

Image: Amazon.

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Do you need to borrow some chapstick? Because I know your lips are dry as hell. The chokehold that Kylie Jenner had on me when I was 19-years-old will never discussed. Okay, fine, we can talk about it once. This is what I (and I'm hoping other young girls in 2015) looked like when they wore Kylie's liquid lipstick and lip liner. Please don't share this image around, thank you.

No further comments. Image: Supplied.

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The lip kit BEGGED you to overline your lips to ridiculous heights. My lipstick would end up on both my nose and my chin after a few hours. The matte finish was a great tactic to make us drink more water because our lips were parched 24/7. If you're still a fan of the Kylie Lip Kit, I have one question for you... is she holding you hostage? Just send me a cryptic message and I will try to come and save you.

Laura Mercier Translucent Powder.

Image: Mecca.

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If you own this translucent powder, it was once snow-white and has now turned into a questionable shade of dark yellow after years of cross-contamination with your foundation. You have a love-hate relationship with your powder after the glowy/clean/wet makeup looks took over our generation. However, you will never see a camera flash rebound off your forehead like everyone else. Go off, queen.

NARS Sheer Glow Foundation.

Image: Mecca.

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If you own a NARS foundation, don't worry this is a safe space. There's something very wrong when makeup brands absolutely nail a product formula only to name it something so absurd, you physically can't say it out loud. Justice for the white women who have to say the words, "The foundation I'm wearing is NARS Sheer Glow in the colour... Punjab." I honestly, really feel for you.

Your foundation is immaculate and you always get compliments on your glowy skin. The good thing is, if someone asks you what foundation you're using, your answer is it's met with understanding, empathic eyes. We know what you're going through and we're so sorry.

Charlotte TilburPillow Talk Lipstick.

Image: Mecca.

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The lipstick shade that is recognisable from a mile away. Pillow Talk is what you wear in the day when you're at work, it's also what you wear at night going to an event and sometimes you even wear it to bed. Do you even remember what your natural lip colour is? Who cares, Pillow Talk is the colour we all want and have now convinced ourselves, we all have naturally.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Clear Brow Gel.

Image: Sephora.

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Good morning! Your brows are officially your favourite feature on your face. Feeling tired? Anxious? Excited? Well, according to your brows, you only have one feeling and that is AWAKE. Your brows can be seen from space and you know what? So they should. You can never get too many eyebrow compliments and with the 15 minutes you spend each morning setting them in that certain way, you deserve all the attention.

Morphe Eyeshadow Palette.

Image: Mecca.

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Okay bestie, unless you're a character on Euphoria, I know you're only making use of this entire palette a few times a year. I get it. I have three Morphe eyeshadow palettes and around 80 per cent of the shades have been completely untouched. They'll probably crumble away into dust if I try to use them now. If you're like me, and keep buying these outrageous palettes, you get too easily distracted by basic marketing tactics and pretty colours. Next time you're out shopping, remind yourself that you don't need eight shades or purple eyeshadows because you already have eight shades of purple eyeshadows at home.

Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara.

Image source: Mecca.

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If you still use this mascara, I'm sorry to say but you still haven't escaped the 2012-2016 British YouTuber phase of your life. We were too young to be saying phrases such as "better than sex" so this mascara was Godly to us. We used it as an excuse to say it's name as much as possible in social situations. Yes, the mascara is good, but what it stands for is so much more than that.

Benefit Cosmetics Hoola Matte Bronzer.

Image: The Iconic.

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Hoola girls unite. If you used this bronzer 10 years ago, you were ahead of the curve. You knew that the 'sculpting our faces into different shapes' trend would never die, so you got in early. You've now moved onto cream bronzers and even gamble in full face contouring. You aren't just a fan of makeup; you are an artist. Please, let me be your friend and teach me your ways.

KVD Beauty Tattoo Liner.

Image: The Iconic.

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Okay, we get it. You're good at everything you do. Your eyeliner is always so on point that we normies forget you actually have to draw it on. You can nail a cat-eye with your eyes closed, while in a moving vehicle and even without a mirror. You're not human, you're a god. You now ask everyone if you could do their eyeliner for them because you physically can't look at someone with uneven wings.

Do you own any of these beauty products? Tell us in the comments section below.

If you want more culture and zeitgeist opinions from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

At Mamamia, we independently curate and write about products we rave about in our group chats and think you should know about too. If you purchase a product we have recommended, we may earn a small commission.

Feature Image: Mecca, Sephora, The Iconic & Amazon.

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