Fringe, denim short-shorts and $3,000 vests. See the absurd celebrity fashion of Coachella.

It’s woodland fairies meets hippie chic meets your grandma’s closet.

Coachella. It sounds like a classy STD, looks like an LSD trip. It’s actually a music festival located in the Californian desert. And if the pics are anything to go by, it’s the exclusive domain of the world’s rich and famous.

Of course, commoners like us can attend too. But we’re unlikely to be mingling with the Beyonces and Brooklyn Beckhams of Coachella. They’re in flashy VIP parties drinking coconut water flavoured vodka, while we’re in the sweaty mosh pit pushed up next to some hairy men.

Each year, thousands descend upon Coachella with one aim – to see who can dress The Most Coachella.

Related: This picture is more than just a d*ckhead in an offensive t-shirt.

Coachella isn’t like every other festival. It’s got a strict fashion code of conduct. Basically who can spend the most on their outfit while looking like they dressed themselves in their grandma’s clothes in the dark.

Coachella fashion rule #1: Denim is a must. Bonus points if it is quietly creeping up your clacker.

Coachella fashion rule #2: Fringe is a must. The more fringe you wear, the more famous people will think you are. Make like these models and fake it with fringe (and sports bras, apparently).

Coachella fashion rule #3: You must spend at least $3,000 on a vest. That looks like you bought it at Supre.

Coachella fashion rule #4: Don’t dare step out without a flower crown. But if you don’t have one, just offend everyone by appropriating someone else’s culture and paint it on your forehead.

Coachella fashion rule #5: Flash (read temporary) tattoos are ridiculously cool. Wear them.

Live by these fashion rules, my friends. One day you too might be able to ride in a car with the top down alongside Kendall Jenner. In sneakers that have never seen the actual ground. We can only dream.

Click through the gallery below for more ridiculous fashion of Coachella.