'What happens... afterwards?' 4 questions I had about my c-section, answered.

"Oh, by the way, the 'no sex for six weeks post-birth' rule applies to masturbation as well."

My home-visit nurse was on her way out, at the end of our one-week check in, and she threw this one out there like a grenade before turning to go. 

"Wait, what?" This had jolted my exhausted, half-closed eyes wide open. "Why?" I asked, incredulous. 

While you're here, watch the trailer for Mamamia's podcast, The Delivery Room. Post continues after video.

She proceeded to explain that the uterus contracts during orgasm, and it could tear my internal stitches wide open. Could this be true? Welcome to the post-caesarean recovery minefield. It’s full of bizarre facts, personal opinions, and old wives tales, so strap in.

A caesarean section, commonly referred to as a 'caesar' or 'c-section' accounts for about 37 per cent of births in Australia in 2022. And for a process that over a third of birthing parents' experience, it’s both misunderstood and unfairly maligned.

The thing is, for many women, the decision to go down the surgical route isn’t made until towards the end of the third trimester. For others, it’s not until they’re deep in the throes of established labour when something changes to indicate a need for an emergency c-section. This means a lot of us are going in with little time to get our heads around this way of giving birth. 

Personally, I knew I was having a c-section early on. It was planned from the moment my pregnancy was deemed complicated due to a very late diagnosis with an autoimmune disease called Addison’s. As a result, I had a good 19 weeks to read up on what to expect. And yet, somehow, even after all the late-night Googling and Instagram spiralling, I still walked into my scheduled 8.30am operation with little more than a vague idea of what was about to happen.

Liz Wilkes, on the other hand, has a very good idea of what goes on before, during, and after a c-section. She’s been a midwife for almost 30 years and is now Managing Director of My Midwives. She’s seen it all, and boy did I have some questions for her. 

So, will masturbating burst open my insides?

First things first, with a potential 40 per cent of women engaging in masturbation within the weeks following birth, I figured this was the most important thing to address.

And, reassuringly, Liz immediately debunked this one as fake news. "Orgasm is not strong enough to blow internal stitches, if it was, every time you cough or sneeze or have a bowel motion, you would have the risk of blowing stitches."

Right, well that’s sorted. Of course, she added, "Consideration should always be given to how both partners feel about the resumption of sexual activity in terms of desire, but there are no hard and fast rules (pardon the pun) about when or how."

In case it’s not yet obvious, Liz is a bloody legend.

So why do c-sections get such a bad rap?

C-sections have historically had a reputation for being the 'easy way out' with ignorant phrases like "too posh to push" doing the rounds. Liz confirms that this is utter tripe, "The view that c-sections are the 'easy' option is completely non-sensical when you think about it – who would ever say major abdominal surgery was an easy version of anything!" 

She explained that the idea that it’s an easy way out likely comes from the higher c-section rates in some first world countries in private hospital settings. The thing is, "Women who make a decision to have a caesarean before labour rarely 'choose' it," Liz shared. Not even 10 per cent of c-sections can be attributed to the mother choosing this method for 'convenience'. 

Attitudes are slowly changing as we learn more about the process and the reasons behind it, but as Liz says, "There definitely is a reduction in 'stigma' but it needs to be reduced to zero."

Listen to Mamamia's podcast The Delivery Room. When it comes to life, Leigh Campbell is very prepared. But there was one thing she really couldn't prepare for - the birth of her son. Because even the most well-intentioned of plans can be derailed in an instant, or in this case, 32 hours. Post continues below.

How can I prepare myself for a c-section?

Liz says the best thing you can do to feel in control heading in to a c-section is to speak to a few different professionals to really understand what your options are. There are so many elements of the process that are entirely up to you, so make sure you make your wants and needs clear. And if you’re not sure what’s available to you, just ask! 

"You may want to watch or even to scrub and assist. You may want delayed cord clamping or bub skin to skin is important to you. You may want to ask to have photos in the theatre, or to go home early or stay for days. Just ask!"

So, what happens after a c-section?

One thing that really surprised me was when my whole body started shivering uncontrollably as the epidural started to wear off. This is apparently totally normal, though it’s damn unsettling. 

According to Liz, another important thing to note is that "often women may have heavier blood loss during and immediately after a caesarean, but that sometimes ceases more quickly than after a vaginal birth. This is because the uterus has had the inside basically cleared fully, which does not happen with a vaginal birth."

"Pain is also an important factor," Liz explains. "If there is a lot of pain after either type of birth, it impacts how women feel about the outcome."

Regardless of how you give birth, there can be some lingering distress surrounding the experience, so it’s important to optimise our mental wellbeing going in. "Some find it traumatic if they really wanted things a certain way, and it doesn’t go that way. However, other women find a caesarean really empowering because they know what is happening and feel more in control," Liz says. 

The most important thing to remember is that if something feels off, either physically or emotionally in the weeks following your c-section, don’t brush it off. Speak to your healthcare provider immediately and get the support you deserve.

Hannah Vanderheide is a writer, actor, and voice artist with a beautiful baby boy. She's also a body-neutral trainer, eating disorder survivor, and wellness industry sceptic who loves to write about the sensible side of health.

Feature Image: Instagram.