"I still can't talk about it without getting upset." Brittany Hockley is ready to talk about her breakup.

Podcast host and former reality TV star Brittany Hockley was single for 10 years before she met tennis player Jordan Thompson on the exclusive dating app Raya.

"I fell wildly, deeply, madly in love," Brittany tells Mia on this week's episode of No Filter.

"It was just the fastest relationship; we fell in love within a few weeks. He's Australian, but he plays on the tour, so he's not here and that was part of the problem. He was here only a couple of weeks a year. And he is a lot younger than me so he's got a lot of time left on the circuit."

Listen to Brittany Hockley and Laura Byrne on this week's No Filter. Post continues below. 

Brittany was 33 when they met and Jordan was 26, but despite their seven-year age gap, Brittany says it was their very different work commitments that eventually drove them apart.

"He's been travelling since becoming a professional athlete at 17. He's been travelling the world alone forever. He was very mature, I've never felt an age difference. We fell madly in love and, you know, talked about the future and getting married. And we were just obsessed.

"Then we just realised that it couldn't work. I am too driven and too embedded in a career here. I spent five months on tour with him; we did Wimbledon and the US Open, and it was amazing. I loved seeing all the families and wives travelling with their partners and I also enjoyed it. But I would be at his matches on my laptop, because I still had to work."

Brittany tells Mia that after being stuck in Europe because of COVID travel restrictions, she really got to experience what 'tour life' would be like.

"If I wasn't so driven back [in Australia], it would be wonderful. But he was never going to ask me to give up my career and go there, and I would never ask an athlete, you know, to stop his job. We loved each other a lot, so it was a long break up that went for months."

Podcast co-host and friend Laura Byrne tells Mia that after watching Brittany go through such a difficult breakup, she realised how challenging a relationship with an athlete really is for both parties.

"I think dating a professional sports player is such an such a hard thing to do if you're a woman who prioritises her career," Laura said on the podcast.

"Because as a professional sports player, you have to be selfish, in some ways. You have to be number one, in order to have your head in the game to be the best at your sport... I am sure there are exceptions to the rule, but most professional male athletes, their partners have to make compromises and sacrifices in order to support them."

Watch: Brittany and Laura on this week's episode of No Filter. Post continues below.

Brittany says that Jordan was upfront about this specific challenge from the very start of their dating life.

"It wasn't in a bad way but in a 'you need to know that I have to be selfish in my sport' kind of way. He said, 'My physio, my training, my travelling, my matches, everything is going to come first. It doesn't mean I don't love you. But I have to do that... to win. And then I can get to you at the end of the day.'"

Even with the challenges that the pair faced fitting in time for each other and their careers, Brittany says tearfully that the decision to end their relationship came from Jordan.

"We both agreed that it wasn't working. But I would have tried probably a little longer I think. Every part of me knew that it wasn't going to work. But I just wasn't ready to let go. And I had conversations with Laura where I was like, 'I could keep going for another year like this' and Laura would say, 'You're not going to even see him, so what's the end goal?' He didn't even think he wanted kids. 

"So there were a lot of things, but I wasn't ready to let go of because I hadn't experienced that kind of love for so long. And it was beautiful. Sometimes you can love someone and it isn't right. But you can still love them. And that's what we were."

The extra layer of difficulty for Brittany as a public figure was being asked to provide details of the painful separation to the media and listeners of her popular relationship podcast, Life, Uncut.

"It is hard, because I was going through a breakup and everyone wanted to know about it. The Daily Mail was speculating about it and certain horrible podcasts out there (that I won't name) were, you know, trying to write stories about it. And if you're living that, you're not ready. I didn't know what it was myself and people were demanding an answer.

"I remember getting messages like, 'You owe us an explanation,' and I thought, wow, no I don't! I will give one when I am ready to, but it is difficult being so open and vulnerable. Because we share a lot, people think they are entitled to know everything, but there are parts [of our lives] that Laura and I have never spoken about and never will. 

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A post shared by Brittany Hockley (@brittany_hockley)

"And 10 months on I still can't talk about it without getting upset, so imagine me trying to talk about it in the midst of the breakup? It would have been impossible." 

As a single woman at 35 years old, Brittany tells Mia she still has to put up with a lot of bad advice and annoying commentary.

"One [bit of advice] I get a lot is 'just stop looking and he will come' while someone else will tell me to 'go out and look more' or that 'he's just around the corner'. I get 'maybe your standards are too high' a lot... but I would rather be single than settle. I know that. I get these comments so frequently that it doesn't often bother me. 

"Even my mum, who's hilarious, will send me photos. She sent me a photo of her vet the other day saying he was cute, and she doesn't even live [in Sydney], she lives in a country town!"

While Laura Byrne married Matthew Johnson last week after five years together, Brittany tells Mia that after her break-up with Jordan, she's not yet ready to meet anyone else and is actually quite content.

"Being single is great. It's so much fun. You learn so much about yourself. And I think that what I want to say to all the single people listening is that, your time will come. 

"One day in life, it might be 20 years, it might be 10 years, it might be five years, you will meet someone so enjoy this time you have and don't wish it away."

Listen to the latest episode of No Filter now wherever you get your podcasts.

Feature Image: Instagram @brittany_hockley. 

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