'I spent 15 years feeling self-conscious about my breasts. In lockdown, I got a boob job.'

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated with boobs - who has them, who doesn’t and how it makes them look overall.

With girlfriends over the years, if they had smaller boobs I'd question if they would you ever get a boob job.  

Breasts are just something I have always noticed on other people - if I thought someone had a great rack, I’d simply ask them what size they were (note - only people I actually knew, not strangers on the street...).

Listen to The Quicky on what you need to know before you invest in your face. 

Growing up, my mum would openly discuss how unhappy she was with her breasts, as they essentially deflated after having kids. As a small B cup, she’d say that I got her side of the family’s boobs - and once I hit puberty, we would buy push-up bras, chicken fillets and all kinds of padding options to build nicer, fuller breast shapes for our outfits. When we were trying on clothes, the absence of cleavage and figuring out what kind of bra to wear with it to look like there was something there, would constantly be brought up. 

I’m short (5’1) and Asian, so my small B cup size is actually pretty much on a par with my other Asian girlfriends, except their frames are petite – and I’ve got broad shoulders and a muscular physique.

They're affectionately referred to as "swimmer's shoulders" by my mum, and whilst I love my fitness and have tried to love the shape I’ve got, I was feeling increasingly self-conscious about my frame, wearing the clothes I wanted to wear and just feeling out of proportion. 

I would try to avoid singlets and look for long-sleeved tops but to compensate for covering my arms, I would wear low cut styles – and realised the lack of cleavage of my chest without a bra was really bothering me.

When Greater Sydney was plunged into lockdown in June 2021, I was organising my laser eye surgery (yes, I had two surgeries in lockdown and I HIGHLY recommend laser eye surgery if you’ve ever thought about it... but back to the boobs) and I realised that this was the perfect opportunity to get any kind of procedure discreetly, take minimal time off work with the current WFH mandate and recover with little impact to my social calendar – all things that I felt would have been a barrier to me actually going ahead with a boob job in ‘normal times’.   

I’m in my 30s now, and I figured my frame is pretty much set for the next 10 or so years, so I decided to book in a consultation and once and for all, decide with an expert if this is something I wanted to do. I did my research and found a plastic surgeon near me that I liked the look of. 

For my first consultation, they asked initial questions:

• How long have you been considering this?
• What’s your lifestyle (e.g. fitness, kids)?
• What’s your ideal cup size?
• How do you want to feel after surgery?

Ultimately, I just wanted to feel in proportion and fill out the clothes I already had or wished I could wear. I wanted to love my frame and feel like I had boobs that naturally suited my shape.

I didn’t want anything crazy and if people didn’t notice, that would be totally okay. I knew after the first consultation that this was something I wanted to go ahead with.

They had a slot open up for a few weeks’ time so it all moved really fast from there; I managed to get in just before non-urgent elective surgery was suspended. 

Once you’re confirmed for surgery, it's recommended you stop doing any Googling. I can see why because it can be really overwhelming (looking at size, type of implant, how it looks on different people) and you end up going in circles. I had another three consultations to go through additional questions and thoughts that I had but eventually, I made peace with leaving the result in my surgeon’s hands.

On the day, the surgeon chooses from a range of sizes for you and makes the final judgment call on the operating table based on what looks good and what he knew about the result I was looking for.  

Ahead of my surgery day, there was still a feeling of "I can’t believe I’m actually doing this". I’d only told a couple of close girlfriends and both, knowing the things I’d said over the years and how I felt said that I wouldn’t regret it. 

Of course, there was some worry and nervousness in the back of my mind that comes with undergoing any major surgery and possible complications, but when I thought about what I would look like post-recovery, I was so excited. 

My mum dropped me off at the hospital, a nurse ran me through the post-surgery instructions and shortly after the surgeon came to see me to do final markups and repeat the plan. When I woke up I was extremely nauseous coming off from the anaesthesia, but that eased off as I iced my chest and had a reasonably good night’s sleep. 

My mum stayed with me for 6 nights, and in terms of recovery, I was impressed that I managed to stick to my (bad) plan as I only took 1.5 days off work. They say that days 3-5 are the worst but for me everything was manageable with the meds I had been given and plenty of rest. 

The implants sit VERY high immediately after surgery, and even though I knew they would eventually ‘drop and fluff’, at my 10 day post-op appointment where you look at before and afters I already could see myself looking so much more in proportion with the boobs balancing out my shoulders and frame. 

I’m just over two months post-op now, slowly getting back into my upper body workouts and can sleep on my side (honestly, having to sleep on my back was hands down the hardest part of this whole process!). But more importantly, I feel amazing. I feel like this is the body I was meant to have all along; they feel like they’re part of me and always have been. 

The parts of my body that I felt self-conscious of and wanted to hide - my shoulders and arms - are now complimented as part of my new overall frame, which is everything I could have wanted and more. 

I spent 15 years of my life feeling like my chest didn't make sense with the rest of me, and now I’m so happy in my own skin. My close girlfriends said they didn’t think I’d regret it, and I do not. 

We are only just emerging out of lockdown now, so to be honest I’m still figuring out these new boobs in outfits outside of active and loungewear. I still need to get sized for a new bra, but my attempt at online shopping makes me think I’m a DD (!!!). 

I’ve tried on my old low cut tops and can confirm that feels a bit TOO much for me now that I actually have cleavage. 

Admittedly, I’m feeling nervous and a bit self-conscious as I get out and about with people noticing (seriously, I know you small breasted girls can agree - it’s daunting to go from having nothing there to notice, to all of a sudden the idea of people staring!). 

But slowly, one step at a time, I’m excited to discover a new style for me with this body. Ultimately, I know that I’ve made this decision and investment at the right time in my life where I know I’ve thought about it enough, and done it for me and me only and I’m so happy with the results. 

The author of the story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous. 

Feature Image: Getty + Mamamia.