Hello.
Yes.
We need to talk about Bradley Cooper in A Star Is Born.
More specifically, his… face.
But also his hair.
You see, the movie has been out for almost a week and now we need to acknowledge one simple truth… THE THIRST IS REAL.
Bradley Cooper/Jackson Maine might be the most attractive ageing, weirdly-tanned country music star I’ve ever laid eyes on.
His hair is incredibly greasy, but also I’d very much like to run my hands through it.
He’s more tanned than I was in 2004 when I first discovered bronzer and that’s OK.
The wrinkles around his eyes make him look like a weathered barn but also like a 43-year-old man who has seen better days.
His beard is slightly speckled with grey hairs and that’s important.
I just know that he… smells a little… and I like it.
He shan’t be pronouncing his words right, but I do not care.
When he leaned out of the car window and told Lady Gaga he wanted to “get another look at you” something fundamentally changed in my soul… and also in my womb.
I’m not going to lie, I even found myself oddly aroused when he peed his pants on stage. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It’s not my fault… because his face… and also his hair.
Might start a support group for women who are attracted to broken, weirdly-tanned alcoholics. Or I might just listen to the soundtrack again and cry a little.
Who knows. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯