I asked 11 mums what they’d do differently after giving birth. Here's what they said.

Lots of women describe childbirth as a bit of a whirlwind - a long, painful slog followed by the relief of getting to meet your baby for the first time.

For many, the pregnancy journey and even the delivery is an overwhelming yet joyous experience. For others, it's a time they look back on as traumatic or far more intense than what they had initially expected. There are of course no rights or wrongs when it comes to women's experiences of childbirth. It's individual.

But we want those who don't look back on it fondly to feel seen and understood. So we asked 11 women to share with us what they'd do differently the next time around. 

Watch: Mums answer questions about childbirth. Post continues below.

From regrets of judgement to picking a different obstetrician, here's what they had to say.

'I wish I hadn't been sucked into the natural is better debate.'

"I wish I had not paid for the calm birth course where it was drilled into us that 85 per cent of women do it 'naturally'. Having that mentality in the back of my head meant that when I had to call for the epidural after 36 hours of vomiting up my stomach lining - and being told I was still only two centimetres dilated - I felt like I had failed at giving birth. That's something no woman should feel."

'I shouldn't have gone into it with too many expectations.'

"I wish I hadn't been so set on birthing a particular way and knew that I had a voice to speak up. My first was born vaginally, and it was a very traumatic birth. My second was an emergency caesar, and my third was a wonderful vaginal birth where I was cared for by an amazing team. How your labour goes is not something you get to choose. You can hope, but circumstance dictates most of it. Relax and be open to advocating for yourself but ultimately healthy mum and baby is the goal."

'I would love to have been awake for my birth.'

"I gave birth via emergency c-section under general anaesthetic. I actually struggle to say 'I gave birth'. I tend to say the day my son was born or 'when my son arrived' removing myself from the statement as I feel like I wasn't there. My husband was also 400 kilometres away at the time so he woke up to news that we had a baby. On the eve of our son's second birthday recently, my husband said, 'It's so strange to think I wasn't there at the time'. I said back, 'Yeah, me neither'. It's really hard for him to understand that I really actually wasn't present for the birth.

"I wish our antenatal class covered more about c-sections - it was just a small add on and I had ZERO idea about c-sections under general anaesthetic. I guess I thought maybe if someone was in a coma/car accident type scenario possibly but never once during my pregnancy - even when diagnosed with preeclampsia - did I ever imagine that this is how my pregnancy would end."

'Pick an obstetrician you're comfortable with.'

"I didn't like my obstetrician at my first appointment. I wish I had changed then and there. We ended up with a nightmare delivery. My next obstetrician did a lot of miracle surgery to repair her lousy work. If you don't connect with someone first up, change!"

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'I would not have had the nitrous oxide gas.'

"The effects the gas could have on me is something I wish I had known prior. Granted the babies were coming, and they were super premature, so we were rushing to get me transferred to a different hospital and there wasn't much time to talk about the side effects of taking the gas! But for me personally, it made me feel like I was going to pass out every time I had to push. The room was spinning, and it was horrible. I just wish more information was given to those in labour about their options."

'I would ask more questions about birth and less about newborns.'

"I would just want to be more informed about what it feels like for different parts of the labour process and the pushing stage. No one said it had a burning feeling! I remember thinking at the time that something was wrong, and I felt stupid asking which I now regret. You learn a lot about a newborn but not the actual birthing in those classes, so I wish I had asked more questions about the birthing experience."

'I wish I had better photos.'

"I wish I had planned for some nice photos to be taken. My husband used his phone and his camera isn't as good as mine - plus he's terrible at taking photos. And I was so busy, that I couldn't really take any of my own, so we ended up with very little. It's a moment I would've loved to have captured - to look back on the photos now and remember some of the small moments that have been lost in that wonderful haze of excitement, wonder, waiting, pain and love."

'I should have been more open to having a caesarean.'

"I wish I'd had a caesarean, so that I didn't cause myself so much damage and ongoing complications. I'm encouraging my daughters to choose caesareans."

'I wish my desires had been taken into consideration by hospital staff.' 

"I voiced my desire to keep my placenta so that my family and I could carry out a traditional Aboriginal ceremony. Unfortunately, my request was ignored, and the placenta was disposed of after I gave birth. I was really frustrated by the lack of compassion shown in that moment, as well as the lack of respect. I wish more medical staff and specialists had care for a patient's desires, especially when it comes to First Nations mothers."

'I would take my time breastfeeding and put less pressure on myself.'

"After speaking to lots of women I found out I wasn't alone in my struggles with breastfeeding. It's something many women experience, and not all women have the ability to breastfeed straight after birth. Lots of things can hinder your milk coming in. I had my daughter at 23 weeks and my boobs just didn't work without medication. I honestly thought a switch would flick once the baby was born, but that's not always the case."

'I wish I had known the signs of postpartum depression prior to giving birth.'

"I always knew that there was such a thing as the 'baby blues', but I didn't realise the seriousness of postpartum depression and the impact it can have. Soon after I gave birth, I was still feeling quite overwhelmed and down, and it wasn't until months and months after having my son that I realised the bad mental state I was in and sought help. Looking back on it a few years later, I would have loved to have known more about it and been informed about the affect of birth trauma on the mind."

If you have given birth before, is there something you would do differently, or wish you had done differently? Feel free to share in the comments below.

Feature Image: Getty.