Katie Crenshaw is the kind of mother that makes us happy that world is still spinning.
Consumed with love and an unshakeable desire to protect her baby daughter, Crenshaw has taken to her blog to explain why her daughter’s birthmark does not define her. Nor should it be the first thing strangers comment on when they meet her for the first time.
In a post she penned called What’s Wrong With Her Face?, that has since gone viral, Crenshaw laments how her daughter’s birthmark is “usually the first thing that people comment on” even though she consistently tries to remind herself that “that most humans are kind and well intentioned”.
As explained in her piece, Crenshaw’s baby Charlie has a capillary hemangioma which is a defect that occurs extremely early in pregnancy with no known cause or prevention.
“I don’t get angry about brief stares. I understand that it’s human nature to do a double-take when you see something about someone that makes them different,” she writes.
However, Crenshaw encourages strangers to understand what they’re commenting on.
“For us, any other [medical] complication[s] were eliminated and Charlie’s hemangioma was deemed cosmetic,” she writes. “While I don’t mind educating curious minds, I don’t need your opinion on how it its progress or the affect it may have on her.”
But it’s not just the medical advice Crenshaw spends her time fending off, and seeks to correct, but a natural will for others to see the beauty they see in baby Charlie, too.
“We don’t need to talk about it every time you look at her. We see past the colour of her face. Charlie is Charlie and it’s part of who she is. It doesn’t need to be constantly commented on, critiqued, or questioned.
“It’s a part of her unique beauty. It may never disappear, and guess what? It doesn’t have to. I would much rather chat about her latest milestone achievement, her amazing smile, or how gorgeous her eyes are.”
Despite having and holding a healthy and happy girl, Crenshaw writes that she is consistently faced with comments from other people that are soaked in pity and condolences.
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“The most common sentiments are ‘I’m praying that it goes away’. Or ‘Bless her poor little heart.’ I’m constantly being asked ‘When will that go away?’ I’ve even heard things as harsh as ‘turn her to her good side’ or ‘Too bad, she’s so pretty otherwise’.”
Alas, the blog post was Crenshaw’s opportunity to deny strangers their pity, and reinforce her belief that the family are “blessed” and that baby Charlie’s “hemangioma is just as insignificant to who she is as a freckle on her arm”.
The time some spend critiquing her daughter’s appearance is time, Crenshaw writes, that should be invested in hoping Charlie grows confidently and happily.
“I encourage you to, instead of praying it will disappear, pray that she grows into a confident girl who loves herself no matter what she looks like.”
You can find Katie Crenshaw’s blog, Twelve & Six, here.
Top Comments
My daughter also has a haemangioma under her left eye and although not as large as the one in this story I get comments on it every day. She is 20 months old and it has stopped growing and starting to fade. I just dont notice it, it is part of her and until someone comments "oh what did she do to her eye" oh did she have a fall? Or the pearler "oh who's been beating you up"! I have to think twice and look my self for the apparent blemish on my daughters face. It is bright red, small in size but the blood capillaries under neath give it an enlarged bluish hue, hence the bruise questions.
I can understand completely what this mother is saying. It is part of who her daughter is and she is beautiful.