Bethenny Frankel was struggling to pay her rent. Then she landed a $100 million deal.

$8,000. 

It was the sum total of Bethenny Frankel's bank account when she arrived on to our screens in 2008 on season one of Bravo's The Real Housewives of New York (RHONY).

Unlike her Upper East Side counterparts, Bethenny was the underdog: she was in her late 30s and unmarried (*gasp*), armed only with a quick wit, sharp tongue and big ambition – yet struggling to pay rent on her tiny apartment.

"It wasn't like I was starving, but I couldn't afford to do anything... A taxi was a luxury," she reflects with Mamamia.

Watch: Bethenny Frankel in The Real Housewives of New York. Post continues after video.

It's a far cry from the Hamptons home – just one of the properties she now owns – from where she speaks over Zoom, ahead of her Australian speaking tour next week. 

Recalling the anxiety of living between bounced cheques and "insufficient funds" each month, Bethenny says, "It was my age, combined with the lack of money, and I wasn't on a clear path that was taking me somewhere."

"I don't have family, so who is going to take care of me? I had no backup plan. 

"I had no safety net."

 ***

A hustler always, Bethenny had long dabbled in entrepreneurship; from party planning to on-selling pashmina scarves, and launching BethennyBakes; a healthy, vegan baked goods business. Diehard RHONY viewers will recall early episodes with Bethenny schlepping her wares to set up stands in supermarkets, zipping through aisles trying to convince shoppers with samples of her treats.

While BethennyBakes wasn't "The Idea", it paved the path to it. 

With the RHONY franchise – and the reality TV zeitgeist – still in its infancy, Bethenny understood the immense platform and abundant opportunity it promised if harnessed successfully. She launched books and an exercise DVD in the same health-conscious vein as BethennyBakes, and then… she struck gold.

As cameras rolled at a New York restaurant during season one filming, Bethenny instructed the barman on how to make the cocktail recipe she had concocted in her own kitchen: Patrón silver on the rocks, fresh lime juice and a splash of triple sec.

It was the origins of the Skinnygirl Margarita, the low-calorie, pre-mix cocktail she would bring to market in just six months. 

The growth was astronomical, becoming the fastest-growing liquor brand in history – in an industry dominated by men.

Within two years, Bethenny and her partner sold Skinnygirl Cocktails to the Beam Global juggernaut, reportedly for a cool $100 million. The clever deal ensured Bethenny retained the rights to the Skinnygirl name. She went on to launch a range of health-conscious lifestyle products – from jeans to salad dressing – promising practical solutions for women.

Musing on the Skinnygirl success, Bethenny muses, "I definitely overshot the mark."

"I can't believe it, but also knowing me; I can believe it because I'm a very hard worker and I'm a thinker."

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It was that hard work which saw her career continue to blossom: spin-off shows; a daytime talk show; bestselling books; BStrong, a mega philanthropic effort providing emergency assistance to people in crisis; to producer; podcaster and social media 'anti-influencer' (IYKYK).

"If I say it; I mean it.

"If I go in to do it; I do it. 

"If I do it; I do it all the way.

"'No' is not a stop sign."

"Despite hard work, still expect to hear 'no'," says Bethenny.

"Many people didn't think Skinnygirl was a good idea, including people in the industry," she says sharing that she was turned away by liquor companies, Patrón, Cuervo and Diageo.

"It's like, what if a guy doesn't like you? Okay, so it's not a match. You certainly don't want someone who doesn't get your idea to be piggybacking it.

"But 'no' doesn't need to be absolute. 

"If your idea only has one place it can live, then you've got to find a way in. But, if it has many places that it can live, then there are many fish in the sea... 'No' is not a stop sign; it's a word."

From idea to action, here are Bethenny's quick hot tips:

1. Push, push, push.

"Keep pushing in a non-pushy way, and find a way to land," says Bethenny.

"But make sure your instincts are sharp, and you are confident your idea is good," she warns. 

"The piece to the puzzle is there, you just have to figure out what piece it is."

2. Commitment is born from excitement.

"Every idea must be executed, carried up the hill, nurtured, massaged, tweaked, changed. It is so hard to get any idea accomplished so you have to really push for it.

"And to push, you must find excitement – to sustain the commitment. 

"I have good ideas that I could get done, that I could get excited about for a week. Then I flesh it out, and I'm over it. But other people are still into it, and they actually want to do it.

"Even now, it's not happening unless I carry it up the hill."

3. Don't assume anyone's smarter than you. 

"You can't assume anything just because an expert doesn't like your idea," says Bethenny, offering. "They might not want to deal with it. They might not like it right now. They might be copying it. They might have something like it. They might not be paying attention. They might be lazy."

Listen to this episode of The Spill where Bethenny joins us to talk about surviving fame, her TV show and the moment that drove her to almost quit her current gig. Post continues after podcast.

"Your 'nos' are the boundaries that keep you aligned to the 'yes'."

With big success, there is no shortage of offers and opportunities. But to ensure Bethenny remains energised and on purpose, everything is a consideration of return on investment (ROI), she explains. 

"There has to be either an emotional, spiritual, you know philanthropic or financial ROI on it."

Only the previous night did Bethenny return from a 16-day film shoot in Canada. 

"When I was young, I would have died to be in a movie, but now, I was very hesitant to accept."

She had never been away from her 13-year-old daughter Bryn for so long. 

"But it was a new experience, and my life is about coming from a place of 'yes'… I don't want to do as much as I used to, so it has to be worthwhile… What's your bandwidth?

"If you say 'no' enough, you can really say 'yes' to different types of passion projects.

"But if you say 'yes' to everything, you get stripped down and you can't do the things that you really want to. You have to pick your spots."

On the value of hard work... and Kim Kardashian.

It's the persistent hard work and commitment to which Bethenny credits much of her achievements – "but I didn't recognise back then that many other people didn't have [these things]."

"Hard work really does make a big difference," she says, before ruminating on Kim Kardashian and the backlash she received from her infamous 2022 comment that "nobody wants to work".

"I think in retrospect, I understand what Kim Kardashian was saying when she said it seems like people don't want to work, then people got upset because they said she was born on third base."

"[But] two things can be true at the same time: I do think that she works very hard. I think her mother works very hard, and I think she has a very good reputation of showing up on time and being pleasant.

"I think [despite] having a sex tape and being born on third base, a lot of people do that and would not have achieved the success that she's achieved. She earned success, and she's a hard worker. And she's relentless; it's a relentless pursuit."

The Hustle vs. #SelfCare.

Can self-care be balanced with hustle culture? Or are they just illusive buzzwords, aspirational and unobtainable; concepts designed to make women feel like they've failed? 

"So, I'm a person who wants to stack, then wants to rest," responds Bethenny. 

"I don't like mixing business and pleasure at the same time, all the time. I suffer if it means I can then relax," she says from beneath her fuzzy blanket on her couch.

Bethenny shares that she had the option to shoot her final scenes at a leisurely pace today, but instead chose to jam it into yesterday's schedule and take a red-eye flight, just to ensure she had a full day to rest.

"After 16 days, I'm fried. I took a magnesium last night, slept well, woke up, did yoga, went and got my nails done and now I'm on the couch."

 ***

"I definitely had nothing to lose," Bethenny contemplates her trajectory over the past 13 years. 

"I was nobody," she says, pausing, "I never forget those times. I still know the value of a dollar."

How has she maintained staying grounded? 

"I don't think I drink my own Kool-Aid… Part of the good news about being a little bit jaded is that you're not taking curtain calls or patting yourself on the back."

"I certainly didn't know that I was going to make it."

In Conversation with Bethenny Frankel will take place in Melbourne on Friday, 15 March and Sydney on Friday, March 22, visit here for tickets and more information.

Rebecca Davis is a freelance journalist, editor and MC/presenter. You can read more of her work here, or follow her on Instagram, @rebeccadavis___.

Feature image: Supplied.