Here’s a headline you don’t read often: “Today’s parents are doing a brilliant job.” Or, “Officially, we are the greatest mums and dads of all time.” And when did you last see, “God, kids today are so lucky to have the parents they have”?
Oh no. Instead, it’s an endless stream of stories on how we’re getting it all wrong and screwing up our kids’ lives. We watch our kids too closely (unless they get into a gorilla enclosure, in which case we weren’t watching them closely enough). Our kids spend too much time in front of screens. Or they spend too much time doing scheduled activities. One or the other. We need to give our kids more time on their own. Or we need to be talking to them more.
Whatever we’re doing, it’s wrong. Previous generations did it better.
There’s a lot of guilt among mums. A lot of us lie awake at night, worrying we’ve let our kids down.
Enough of the negative stories. Here’s why our generation are the best parents ever:
1. We give up so much when we’re pregnant for the sake of our unborn children’s health. Alcohol, sushi, soft cheeses… the list goes on. While previous generations smoked and drank their way through the long, arduous months of pregnancy, we can’t even kick back with a good cheese platter. Such sacrifice for babies we haven’t even met yet.
"Once this baby's out, I'm going to gorge myself on the following foods..." Photo via iStock.
2. We see parenting as a thing. We don't just automatically do what our parents did - we read up on it and think about it. And we're prepared to endure a lot of pain for our kids. Cracked nipples, sleepless nights... we're heroes, basically.
3. Our kids are more likely to survive childhood. We vaccinate them against all the horrible diseases, like chickenpox, that previous generations suffered through. We protect them with baby capsules and bike helmets and netting around trampolines. And if we sometimes go too far and buy baby kneepads, it's only because we care.
4. Fathers do real parenting. It's just expected nowadays that dads will change nappies and play with their kids. Going to the pub every night after work, or watching TV and occasionally yelling, "Shut up!" just doesn't cut it anymore. More kids will grow up with close relationships to their dads.
5. We try to cook our kids nutritious meals they'll actually enjoy. Instead of slapping a plate of chops and peas on the table in front of them and telling them they'll eat that or starve, we sneak vegetables into pasta sauce or turn broccoli into trees or prepare entirely separate meals with raw vegetables instead of cooked. We are so nice.
6. School is less likely to be hell for them. If our kids are having difficulty in class, we don't write them off as "slow" or "naughty". We get a diagnosis for them and we get treatment. If our kids are being bullied, we don't just tell them to toughen up. We take it seriously and do something about it. We are our kids' champions.
We won't stand by while our kids are bullied. Photo via iStock.
7. We don't shut them down with glib phrases like "because I said so", or intimidate them into doing what we want by threatening to hit them. That's because we're trying to teach them to do the right thing for the right reason. Yes, it does make our lives so much harder. We know.
8. We take photos of everything our kids do. With filters, too, so it all looks warm and pretty. Our kids will have approximately one million photos of themselves by the age of 18. That should be enough to make them feel special.
9. If it matters to our kids, it matters to us. You see this in thousands of different little ways. The crazy bidding by parents on eBay to buy their child a complete set of collector cards. The mums who spend their Saturdays sitting in traffic jams so each of their kids can play the sport they love. The dads who accompany their daughters to Taylor Swift concerts. The father who walks around the streets of his small town wearing a dress in solidarity with his dress-wearing young son. That's just what we do.
We are the parents that children of previous generations could only have dreamed of. Our kids are lucky to have us. Let's not be so hard on ourselves.
What do you think of the current generation of parents?
Top Comments
You make some great points.
Like dads actually parenting. I love it. And most dads these days take up that role with such gusto! I love this :)
However, we are trying so hard to build love and trust within our children, we are forgetting one crucial aspect of parenting that needs to stick.
- consequence for action.
Children aren't learning this. There are no consequences for action. Substantial consequences. Not a "no Johnny we don't steal people's lollies from the shop. Don't do that again" but a real consequence. "Right then Johnny, if you're going to steal from the shop, you're going to work to pay for for what you stole. No TV and you're vacuuming the floor everyday." (Obviously as an example)
I see so many children get away with so much.
My child is 2.5 and he knows the difference between right and wrong and has learnt the consequences of action. We don't physically punish, so no smacking, we try not to tell (we are only human so sometimes it happens) mostly we let him figure out his mistakes, or, put him in the naughty corner. And it works. But we always shower with love after.
Like any other toddler, he's curious but he is amazing at comprehending a situation.
We have to teach our children to learn from themselves. We don't give their creativity much of a chance to flourish being over their shoulders all the time.
We might do a lot of things well. But we have dropped the ball with discipline.
Parents of young kids think it's ok to let them misbehave in public without any effort to stop them. They don't even consider that allowing a child to run around a cafe is misbehaving. They think its just kids being kids. "Child friendly" restaurant is code for one where I can switch off let them make a complete pest of themselves and nobody will mind.
We need to pull our socks up in that department!
I don't. And then I have to fend off other parents telling me to "reeeerlllaaaaxxxxxx" etc. They can do what they want with their kids, I will not let my child have that way. And yes he is a handful and yes it is hard, but how else is he going to learn if he is not taught?
Stand your ground, because your child will be well liked and the other kids will be very unpopular!