Sigh. A study of parenting styles tell us what we’ve secretly known all along…
Whether you are a strict, overbearing, “second-place-is-the-first-loser” parent or an “I-love-you-no-matter-what, trying-is-better-than-winning” parent, you’re doing it right. Backed by science.
In news that will infuriate “Tiger Mom”, there’s no direct advantage to ensuring that your child is number one in absolutely everything.
In case you have forgotten about “Tiger Mom”, here is a 10-second explanation. Also known as Amy Chua, the Yale Law school graduate penned a couple of books telling “trying-is-better-than-winning” parents that they are the reason society is collapsing. Amy is a big believer in the “second-place-is-the-first-loser” parenting style. Ultimate success is fun. Anything else is terrible.
Well, the results are in.
Stanford conducted a new study pitting different parenting techniques against each other.
And they found:
Neither are superior. So right now "second-place-is-the-first-loser" parents are fuming and "trying-is-better-than-winning" parents are grinning - they have never come so close to first place.
According to the study, it is just a matter of where the child's motivation is placed.
For the involved parents, the motivation comes from mum and dad, who "encourage" their child until they are an Olympian in everything. They are the will that sees the kid through to the trophy. While the parents who let their kids find their own way transfer the motivation to within the child. Creating a sense of independence.
"While [one set of] parents give their children wings to fly on their own, [the other set of] parents provide a constant wind beneath their children's wings," wrote Alyssa Fu, a doctoral student in psychology and the lead author of the study, and Hazel Markus, a professor of psychology.
Now that we know the study says both parenting styles have benefits, the real question is: which is better for the child's long term future? Getting into Yale by having the highest academic score, or knowing how to make your own decisions when you are an adult.
What do you think, which parenting style is better?
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