"Life will never be the same." Actress Ada Nicodemou on the trauma of losing a baby.

This post deals with pregnancy loss and might be triggering for some readers.

Actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her second son, Harrison, after he was sadly delivered stillborn in 2014.

The Home and Away actress, who was then married to Chrys Xipolitas, was in her eighth month of pregnancy when she lost her child.

Speaking to Stellar Magazine, Nicodemou reflected on the difficult time, admitting “the past five years really tested my positive personality”.

“Life will never be the same again; there will obviously be a hole in your heart,” Nicodemou tells the publication.

“We will always remember that child and what could have been.”

The actress explains that some of the most difficult conversations she has are centred around the tragic loss.

"A lot of people come up and say sorry about Harrison, but I found that really difficult because I don’t want to break down in front of them," Nicodemou says.

"I’ve had counselling, and I’ve just gone back again. It’s going to be an ongoing thing, because I want to get in a better place where I don’t freeze up when he’s mentioned."

Conversations with her seven-year-old son Johnas are particularly hard, she explains.

"I just get so choked up. I think it’s nice that he’s keeping his little brother’s memory alive, but now I say, 'It actually hurts Mummy when you keep going on about it.'"

But despite the heartbreak, Nicodemou says that she "had to be strong" for her son Johnas, as she adds, "I've had to be a strong woman".

Nicodemou, who as of March next year will have played Home and Away's Leah for 20 years, says work was a "saving grace" for her as she navigated the grief.

 

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This isn't the first time Nicodemou has spoken so openly about the loss of her second child.

In 2015, Nicodemou spoke about the effect the birth of her second child had on her, saying "we will never be the same people we once were. I just feel I can never be completely happy again because this has happened."

However, in her interview with Stellar, Nicodemou says she has learnt "to celebrate the ups" of life.

"I feel I’ve come through the other end. Everything has fallen into place. Johnas is really happy... I’m really happy. I’m smiling again. And I’ve got this great relationship. I’m a hopeless romantic. Life hasn’t beaten that out of me."

Nicodemou has been in a relationship with businessman and CEO Adam Rigby for three years now, following her split from her husband of 10 years, Chrys Xipolitas in 2015.

You can read Ada Nicodemou's full interview with Stellar Magazine here. 

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