House trashed? Pantry bare? Wallet empty? Yes, your kids must be on school holidays.
Dear mums. It’s school holidays and we feel you. We really do. There’s mess and fun and chaos and sleep ins. It’s so, so good and it’s so so bad. Right? It’s a love/hate relationship.
Here are 7 things only a mother with kids on school holidays will understand…you’ve gotta laugh. Save the crying for after they are all in bed at night.
1. ‘Ransacked’ is the new interior design style.
My house isn’t a huge, gigantic mess. It is charmingly dishevelled. Who wants to live in a completely tidy house. That would just freak me out. It’s just not natural. I am comfortable with the status of my house. Yes, I will tidy it before you come over, because you might judge me, just a little, but the rest of the time my children roam free and drop things on the floor, lots of things.
2. Everything in your house is potentially edible.
Willy Wonka's chocolate factory had nothing on my house. When you have three children home from school, plus a niece, two nephews and a friend's little boy, everything in your house is potentially edible and no amount of food will satisfy them. I am thinking of painting the walls with Nutella so they can lick it as the day progresses. That should keep them satisfied until the cheap and crappy pizza arrives. Oh, they dropped a bit of bacon on the floor. Mine!
3. You can love your children and find them completely irritating at the same time.
I love my children more than life itself, but boy do they annoy the hell out of me. No I cannot type in the Minecraft code, again. No I won't cook a second lunch because you have decided you don't like toasted sandwiches today. No it is not okay to chase the cat who loves you and trusts you, just because you think it is fun. And for God's sake, does the TV have to be so damn loud?
4. Being broke is fun.
Who needs money? Being broke is fun! And there's no better way to become broke than to do a minimum of one fun activity during the school holidays. Next time I will make sure to be prepared. I will organise the third mortgage on my house well in advance so I don't call my bank in tears begging for a temporary increase in my credit limit because the movie I have been saving for actually costs way more than I realised, especially once I add a $50 popcorn and $70 on Fantas.
5. Bad babysitters aren't so bad.
I have officially exhausted all my babysitters and I dare not ring my siblings or my mum, or my mother-in-law again until it is a REAL emergency. So I am thinking of contacting some of my more distant relatives. "We don't spend enough time together and by the way, can you babysit my kids this Thursday?" I mean, how bad can they be? As long as the kids are all THERE when I get home, it's a win for me.
6. Bad teachers aren't so bad.
I find myself thinking fondly of my children's school teachers, even though I didn't have any feelings about them either way during the school term. I wonder how they are, what they are doing, if they miss us and if they are looking forward to Term 3 beginning. And I really should be much nicer to them. I can hug them when I see them right? And forget giving them an apple. A sports car is less than they deserve for the job they are doing.
7. Being bored is not a crisis.
Yes, you're bored. No, that is not a problem that Mummy wants to solve. Are you bleeding? No. Are you dying? No. Is there a gigantic flood moving towards our house or is the cat stuck behind the bookshelf again? No? Then bugger off, I mean, go play.
What would you add to this list?
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