‘The 5 ways I’m challenging my pessimism in 2022.’

I’m not gonna beat around the bush – the last few years have been a little bit sh*t.  

There isn’t one person I know that hasn’t been affected by the pandemic. 

There was fear, and division, but then hope, and the crash of disappointment, and hope again, and then poooft! We’re out and we can hug our favourite people and go out for a cocktail and even travel overseas, but something still doesn’t feel quite like it used to.

“But what might be next?” 

And that lingering pessimism just didn’t budge.

If you’re nodding and mmmhrmmming, I hear you. Because up until a few months ago, that was me too.

And what I realised was that I couldn’t just expect the last few years to fall away, and everything would just snap back – my outlook included.

So, I decided to make a concerted effort to find a new, better perspective.

And now, I’m here to help you shake off any residual funk. Because, we’ve got this! 

So friend, allow me to share with you the 5 ways I’ve challenged my pessimism in 2022 – and what’s worked for me. 

1. Make the decision – and commit.

It all began with the awareness that my fierce spark of optimism hadn’t returned, and a decision to change it. You’ve done that already? Look at you go! 

But here’s the thing: making a decision to shift your mindset is totally great and all, but it’s the behaviours and actions you do next that will keep you in the positive place. 

Let me explain…

2. First, it’s time for an audit.

Calm your heart, and put down the receipts! I’m talking about a life audit.

What is that, you ask? Open that bougie journal – or even a regular ‘ole notepad – and split your page into five sections topped with these headings: 

• Mind (that’s intellectual you)

• Body (physical you)

• Soul (spiritual you)

• Relationships (you in relation to your partner, friendships, family relationships) 

• Career (self-explanatory) 

Now, work your way through each category, asking yourself, what are you doing now to nourish each of those parts of you? 

(It’s looking a little bare? Hrmm, how did I know?!)

With a different coloured pen, now add the things you want to do that will make you feel more fulfilled in each of these areas. 

I’ll go first. 

I love reading. Always have; it’s part of what makes me… me! But over the past few years, I inadvertently let that part of me go (“too tired”, “no time”) and would go weeks without reading a single page. 

Until I paused to reflect in my recent audit, and I realised just how much I miss it.

So, under ‘Mind’, I wrote that I need to read for 10 minutes every day. Not a major commitment, but something that gives intellectual me a great big hug. 

Okay, so once filling it all out, stick it up in a place you will see it regularly. This will help keep you on track – every single day.

3. Assess the company you keep.

Pay attention when you walk away from your friend… how do you feel?

Are you buzzing, and lighter, and feel like you might just be able to take on the world? (Hold on to those ones!) Or is your gut tightened and ‘something’ feels just a bit off, but you can’t put your finger on it?

Beb, this is your instinct trying to tell you something. Listen. And don’t be afraid to acknowledge that sometimes people enter our life for a reason – or a season. Friendships are living and breathing, and while we may grow and evolve as individuals, sometimes our friendships… don’t. That’s okay, but ask yourself, is that friendship really the two-way street you deserve?

The bottom line: if a friendship has landed in toxic territory, and you’ve tried, but it no longer serves you, perhaps it’s best to cut ties? It might sound harsh, but it will only weigh you down, sapping time, attention and energy that could be better spent elsewhere. 

4. Tap into The Good Stuff.

Now that you’ve audited, assessed, and extracted the negative forces you may not have known that had around you, you’ve created space for more of The Good Stuff! You know, the things that shake up your energy and inspire, and evoke curiosity, and motivate. 

The soul food. 

This will be different for everyone, but while you figure out yours, feel free to borrow a few of mine!

• A night out at the theatre.
  The acting! The music! The singing! I recently saw Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 The Musical, and the energy was contagious!

• Listening to an intellectually stimulating podcast.
  I’m late to the Esther Perel party, but my golly gosh, she is good! Also, check out Honestly with Bari Weiss for some thought-provoking conversations.

• Music.
  Tell me, is there anything that Adele, Beyoncé, Fleetwood Mac or Robbie Williams can’t fix? I thought not. 

• And of course, a good book or doco.
  Pardon me while I continue to catch up with my stack of books on my bedside table… Meanwhile, I recently watched the Oprah + Viola: A Netflix Special Event. So so inspiring. 

5. Urghh. Self-care.

I feel you cringing, but look, it is kinda crucial – and no, not the last thing at the bottom of a list when you get through all the other stuff. 

Let’s start with the basics: 7-8 hours sleep and 2 litres of water daily. Regular exercise and a balanced diet with heaps of fresh veg and fruit. We all know this, but do we actually do it?

If the answer is no, let’s not berate ourselves; but start with one of those things. Buy a big water bottle to ensure your smashing your water intake, or an old school alarm clock so your phone can retire to the other side of the room at night to prevent you from the Instagram vortex (I recently did this. Game changer).

But then of course, self-care are the things that make you feel good too! 

It could be meditating, or going to gym, or journalling.

For me, it’s getting a coffee while walking my dog, Millie. And sitting under my favourite gumtree at the park. Cooking my partner’s favourite meal. Making the time to catch up with my closest friend for a wine. And slapping on a face mask once a week. 

Whatever it is, do it – without compromise, or guilt. 

Balance is an illusive thing, and I’ve only just recently accepted (begrudgingly), that for me, it’s not achievable every day. 

So, here’s what I’ve learned.

Keep everything in perspective, and try to ensure more positivity than negativity overall. Because when you get that balance right, everything else just flows – and without even trying, that pessimism will just melt away.

Feature Image: Supplied/Mamamia.