This is a fascinating story by a group in society who are often maligned: young parents. Your definition of ‘young’ changes, of course, as you get older. I assume that by the time you hit 90, anyone who doesn’t need a walking frame or has their own teeth qualifies as Spring Chicken.
The serious side of course is that motherhood can be challenging enough. Every new mother and pregnant woman needs all the support, understanding and Iced Vo Vos IN THE WORLD. Not scorn. Not cynicism. Not eye-rolling or disapproval.
MummyHol writes for us…..
My future husband and I became parents when we were 20 and 22 years old respectively. We had just signed the paperwork for our first home, so financially everything was in fantastic shape for us. We could afford for me to take 12 months of unpaid maternity leave, so there was no doubt we were financially and mentally prepared to start a family.We did and still do carry the tag of “young parents” even though now we are 23 and 25 years of age. I am a SAHM, I work a casual job and I have recently accepted a spot at University by distance in the hopes of one day becoming a Midwife. We don’t receive any financial assistance from the government because my partner works ridiculously long hours and takes home a substantial wage each week, which we have no problems with, but what I do get upset with is that we carry the label of young parents and it is such a negative title at times.
My partner works so hard for what we have, we have paid our way in life so far and will continue to do so, but there are teenagers/young adults now having babies because there is an expectation that they will receive money to do so. I don’t want to be associated with those type of people. Getting money from the government never even factored into our decision to have a baby, so why do we get stereotyped and thrown in the mix of those who do get a free ride from the government because they were too juvinile to make an adult decision about their future?
There are days I sit back and wonder why older generations often talk negatively about the growing trend of young parents. Then it hit me one day that these days, when teenagers become parents, more often than not they receive numerous payments from the government to raise their children whereas, years ago, these sort of payments never existed. People that had children then had no incentive, whereas now as soon as you give birth to a baby you are automatically entitled to 2 or 3 different types of payments, but only if you fall below that yellow line.
I’m a huge believer in that if you cannot afford to have children, don’t plan on having them until you can.
Had my partner and I not been in the financial situation to support a small family, there is no way in hell we would then expect tax payers to pay our way.Am I naive in saying this? Am I being to harsh and judgemental? I understand that there are people out there who genuinely need these payments to survive, but there are also people who get a free ride & who give younger parents who are capable of making adult decisions a bad name.
I hate this label and I wish people wouldn’t judge younger parents as a whole, but as individuals.
What are your thoughts on this subject?
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Top Comments
okay im 21 and i have two beautifull children, and i dont think you understand how much healp the govenment gives us. i totally disagree with wat was said, i hate that you think reciving money from the government to help with supporting my children should not be done.... i am married my husband work 40 hours plus a week i would love to go back to work but looking after my children is my work. my husband earns enuf to pay our rent and half the bills, what would we do then if i didnt have payments from the government. my payments go towards the other bills and putting food on the table everyday. the "youger parent" needs these payments from the government to feed and cloth there children....
im sorry if not everyone has there life handed to them with no worries.... thanks mama mia for letting me put my word across.
I'm a newcomer to Mamamia and I've just stumbled across this interesting post.
I had my first son when I was 18 and my second at 20. My experience with people judging my former husband and myself as young parents had nothing to do with government payments, but more to do with 'babies having babies' the fact that many thought we were simply too young and immature to be parents.
My sons are now 18 and 20... I couldn't imagine them being capable of raising children at their age.
Funny how the tables have turned!
Ha I had the same reaction. I had my first son at 21 and second at 25. People thought my husband and I were too young. They are now 16 and 12. Most of our friends thought we were nuts and to be honest all the couples in our anti-natal group were all in their late 30s. Mind you I was told I couldn't have kids thanks to severe endo so the 1st was a huge and unexpected surprise and the second a bonus. So early parenthood was a gift for my husband and I regardless of what anyone else thought.
People have babies at all different times, for all different reasons and in all different circumstances. It seems a bit rich to be judging someone whose life circumstances you know nothing of.
My best friend and her ex (also a close mate) had their first when she was 19 and he was just 19 (conceived during our HSC). They had another a few years later. The oldest is 17 (!) now. They are (in my Mum's words) "the most delightful kids" she's ever met. They split and the boys are the most well adjusted, cool and awesome kids you could ever hope to meet. The boys know what Mum went through on their own and Dad being a bit of a shit, and both have understood from a youngish age of what happened and why, and have both vowed to not let it happen again. We'll see. It's looking good, so far. :)