No one does it alone. Why do we pretend to be super women?
The most important things my mother taught me included work from Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Wham! and Whitney Houston. My passionate adoration of Whitney, which began circa 1990, remains to this day.
I can sing every song, with feeling, and make myself cry or dance or triumph. I love this album.
Which is to say that when Shonda Rhimes talks about Whitney Houston in Year Of Yes, her recently-published book, she captured my attention. See, I’ve never watched Grey’s Anatomy. I came late to the Scandal party. So while Ms. Rhimes was taking over the universe, I was only vaguely aware of her.
“It never ever helps to think that Whitney’s hairdo is real.”
See, Shonda tried for hours and years to recreate the Whitney album look. It never worked. She felt like a failure. When she shared this with a friend later, her friend shared a secret: Not even Whitney Houston herself could do that hair. It was a wig, with a team behind it.
That’s the whole problem with magazines, right? Media in general, women in general comparing themselves at their worst to the polished versions of other people.
I thought it was just me who did this. Apparently not.
Rhimes talks about this in terms of looks — everyone it takes to make her awards-show fabulous. But more importantly, regarding the help she has to make life possible. Being a busy mom of three with a crazy-demanding job and everything else may look amazing from the outside. If I can’t do it all the way Rhimes does, something must be wrong with me.
So Rhimes’ truth-telling about her nanny of awesomeness and the others on the team? It is refreshing and important. No one does it alone. Why do we pretend to be super women? The people I respect and care about in life are the ones who show their real selves — and give me a glimpse at how they are making it work. That almost always entails allowing other people to help us.
