rogue

If you were born in the Year of the Rat, then 2020 probably isn't going to be your year.

Just a note – this story is tongue in cheek and not be taken literally. We’re sure you’ll have a brilliant year, even if some astrologers have gone completely rogue…

It might be Chinese New Year’s Eve, but it’s going to be a less happy New Year for some.

Especially if you were born under the Year of the Rat.

According to Chinese tradition, every lunar year corresponds with an animal of the zodiac and every 12 years when the animal year you were born in rolls around again, you get blessed with a cosmic dumping of bad luck. But just remember: it’s not you, it’s the universe.

Poh gives us her predictions for the Chinese New Year. Post continues below.

Video by Mamamia

This means if you were born in 1960, 1972, 1996 or 2008, we suggest you just take the year off. Hibernate. Go on a year-long sabbatical. Leave the country and assume a new identity. You get the gist. You have from tomorrow January 25 (Chinese New Year’s Day) to February 11, 2021, to wait out the bad luck.

Previously speaking to Mamamia, Doctor Xiaohuan Zhao (Huan) – an expert in Chinese literature from the University of Sydney – explained the folklore, adding that your ‘birth year’ or your ‘Ben Ming Nian’ makes you ‘more susceptible to certain misfortunes’.

“Traffic accidents could be one of them,” he said

“It could also be quite easy for you to fall ill, particularly in the area of your bowels, appendix and stomach – these are the physical problems.

“If you’re in love, then it is said that you need to be cautious because it’s likely for the relationship to fall apart. Financially too, the year could make you suffer the loss of money. If you run a business, then it’s said that your business could go bankrupt.”

If you’re born in the Year of the Rat, here are some other cosmic inconveniences you can expect this year. Our apologies in advance.

via GIPHY

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Career:

Expect several ups and downs because you’re probably going to experience a fair amount of difficulties this year. According to Your Chinese Astrology, your outlook isn’t great.

“Your fortune is doomed to be unstable,” they write.

“The reason for this is that you are less competent and always get half the results with double the effort, making it difficult to carry out tasks smoothly.”

Despite this, people born in the Year of the Rat are also advised to avoid job-hopping or starting one’s own business this year.

Finance:

In Chinese astrology, rats are known for being predisposed to wealth and prosperity while also being thrifty. 2020, however, might present a challenge.

Instead try and focus on saving instead of spending and avoid risky investments. So no, it’s not the year you decide to invest in your cousin’s girlfriend’s brother’s colleague’s artisan frozen yoghurt food truck.

via GIPHY

Romance:

According to Your Chinese Astrology, it’s believed you’re more likely to have a bad temper (bad luck will do that to you) so try and remain calm. As it’s your ‘Ben Ming Nian,’ traditionally it’s advised that you don’t get married or engaged to avoid bringing bad luck into your relationship. In fact, avoid starting any new relationships, because most of them probably won’t “fit you” anyway.

Maybe just flee the country, take up cave meditation and become a recluse. It probably couldn’t hurt.

Health:

Don’t be surprised if you’re more prone to getting sick this year. You might feel like you’re just a bit more ‘tired’ (but all the damn time) or feel as if you’re constantly getting struck down with the cold or flu.

ChineseNewYear.net advise ‘rats’ to “eat more proteins and vegetables” and carry out “proper diet, exercise, and sleep”. In other words, do all the things you know are good for you but you never do anyway.

What can I do to avoid the bad luck?

Should you want to curb the rage of the universe, Doctor Zhao recommends people born in the Year of the Rat to don on their best “red undershirts” and seek professional advice.

“You can consult professional seers [fortune tellers] or fengshui masters that will re-arrange the furniture in your office or house, but wearing red undershirts is very important.”

“It protects your body.”

Like we said, apologies to anyone born in the Year of the Rat. Perhaps it’s time to invest in some red underwear?

How do you celebrate Chinese New Year? Tell us in a comment below.

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