A definitive ranking of the nine most annoying Christmas songs of all time.

Welcome.

I’m sorry… but I’m here to ruin your festive spirit.

You see, it’s officially December and we all know what that means: it’s time for supermarkets and shopping centres to start playing the torturous music they’ve (probably) been playing since September.

Ah, yes. Christmas music. Fun.

These are just some of the things Aussies never say at Christmas. Post continues below.

Although everybody loves a good Christmas song every now and then, there’s no denying that not all Christmas songs are created equal.

After all, many of them are overplayed and well, downright annoying.

In celebration of the ~silly season~, here’s our definitive ranking of the most annoying Christmas songs of all time.

You can thank us (or… argue with us) later.

9. Slade – Merry Christmas Everybody

Yes, it’s a classic.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not annoying.

Sorry Slade, but we don’t want to hear you sing MERRRYYY CHRIIISTMAAASSS anymore.

8. Alvin and The Chipmunks – The Christmas Song (Don’t Be Late)

Okay, we know. This song was kind of amusing when we were children.

But… it just doesn’t have the same effect anymore.

In fact, we’d be pretty happy if we never heard from it again.

Since The Chipmunks keep on getting rebooted, however, it’s probably not going anywhere.

7. Justin Bieber – Mistletoe

No.

Just… no.

6. Maroon 5 – Happy Christmas (War Is Over)

Remember that time Maroon 5 took one of the best Christmas songs of all time and turned it into something… unbearable.

We certainly do.

Some things are better left unchanged – and John Lennon’s song is one of them.

5. Madonna – Santa Baby

We get it, Madonna.

You want a car. And a yacht. And Tiffany’s Christmas decorations. And a ring.

But did we really need a whole song about your Christmas wishlist? Yeah, no.

4. Tom Jones and Cerys Matthews – Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Baby, It’s Cold Outside, which was originally written by Frank Loesser in 1944, has been adapted dozens of times (including by Tom Jones and Cerys Matthews).

But since the song was “cancelled” last year, it doesn’t quite feel the same.

In fact, listening to it feels… uncomfortable.

In 2018, the song was pulled from a number of radio stations due to it’s very problematic lyrics.

In case you missed it, the entire duet focuses on a man insisting a woman stay in his home despite her pleas to leave.

Yeah, erm, no thanks.

3. Paul McCartney/Wings – Wonderful Christmastime

Oh, Paul. What happened.

Over the years, Paul McCartney made some incredible music with The Beatles, Wings and as a solo artist.

But this… this song is unbearable.

Every Christmas, it’s played over and over and over again to the point that those first few synthesised keyboard chords are enough to get me running out of a shopping centre.

Oh, and we can’t forget the repetition of the lyrics: ‘Ding dong, ding dong.’ *Shudder*.

2. Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas Is You

Okay. We’re about to get controversial.

Weirdly enough, Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ is often noted on lists of the best Christmas songs of all time and the most annoying Christmas songs of all time.

In fact, the famous song was just recently voted the most annoying holiday song of all time in a UK poll.

But we have a theory.

You see, we’re pretty sure that the reason why the song is so polarising is because it’s played constantly.

Seriously this is us hearing Mariah Carey towards the end of December:

Sorry, Mariah.

But we've had enough for this year.

1. Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas?

Yep, another controversial take.

Of course, Band Aid's original Christmas song, 'Do They Know It's Christmas' was created for charity.

But despite the ~good message~ behind the song, my loathing of it seems to grow year by year.

Over 30 years later, the song continues to be played continuously from November to December.

The synthesizer. The mullets. Bono.

It's just... too much.

For more on this topic:

• We're calling it. Everyone will be wearing the 'milkmaid' dress to their Christmas lunch.
• You're not imagining it. Christmas feels... very different this year.
• Exactly what to get the women in your life for Christmas, solely based on their star sign.
• A definitive ranking of Netflix's Christmas movies from bad to... so bad they're good.

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