'It's been one year since I've returned to work after maternity leave. This is what I've learnt.'

Ah, the paradox of being a working mum: where you desperately miss your child but also love remembering your old self (and enjoying a hot coffee on your own!).

It's been a year since I've been back at work after having a baby, and I've learnt a lot since those early days.

1. It gets easier.

I wrote previously that everything felt rushed when I first went back to work. And nothing I did felt like enough.

It gets easier! Maybe it’s that our baby got more independent as she grew up, or maybe it’s that I eased expectations on myself. Either way, things started to feel less rushed, less chaotic. Maybe it’s a combination of both that has helped me find joy and balance at home and at work.

While you're here, watch what a mum's morning routine look like. Post continues after video.

Working three days a week, I’ve found efficiencies that relieve stress such as clearing my inbox before my first day back in the office, blocking out time to focus, getting into a routine with (the endless!) washing, and pre-planning easy meals and grocery shopping once a fortnight.

There are days I question why I went back (usually when things go wrong at work or I feel I’m not at my best) but mostly, it has made me appreciate my time at work and at home more, and better understand the value I bring to each domain.

2. You can do it.

Six months after I’d returned to work, I was approached me to move into a dream role. My first response was 'no'. 

I couldn’t see how I’d be able to do a role like that when I was still trying to grasp the challenges of early motherhood and I only worked part time. A role like it now seemed aspirational – something I’d strive for once our child was school age and I could focus on my career. 

People around me – both professionally and personally – helped me see I could do it. I’m so glad they did; they helped me re-discover the professional passion and drive I felt I’d lost. 

3. Some days you’ll be exhausted.

It's 4.30am and our baby is screaming 'Mum!'. Bleary-eyed, my day begins. On those days, everything is a struggle. Getting to work is a mission with a baby clinging to me as I try to get us both ready for the day.

On those days, it feels like I’ve done a day’s work before I’ve even started. Home by 5pm to rush through dinner, bath, bedtime and prep for the next day, and then I finally get time to myself.

You push through though and find energy inside yourself you never knew you had.

Then there are days I check on her at 7am and she’s still not awake. Those days are good and bad – great for getting ready so easily, but hard for me as I leave her with her grandparents fast asleep.

4. You need to trust others.

My mum often says 'You can only do what you can do' – it’s very true for a working parent. Being a part-time manager, I’ve learnt I can’t be across everything and I can’t attend every necessary meeting at work.

That’s difficult as someone who likes to make time for everyone but I need to be resourceful with my time. That guilt can weigh on me. But I’ve found more and more how to prioritise what I need to be involved in, value add using my strengths when I’m at work, and trust my great colleagues to work their magic too.

Listen to No Filter where Mia Freedman is joined by Christine Armstrong on what it's like to be a working mum. Post continues after podcast.

5. Find your network.

Earlier this year, our CEO invited newly returned mums to a session to hear directly how they were finding the support of our workplace.

There were so many mums with similar experiences – we’re not alone in the ups and downs of balancing a young child with work demands (and more often, expectations of ourselves). While many of us feel we need to present a polished face to work, I’ve found if you dig a little deeper, you find comradery, understanding, empathy, and tips and tricks to cope!

It’s been another year of learning how to be this new version of myself as a mum, manager, teammate, wife, daughter and friend. I’ve learnt that some things just have to give because with the arrival of a child, your time in other aspects of your life becomes more limited.  

Some weeks are good; some are hard but mostly, I love being a working mum. I enjoy contributing to big outcomes at work, but also sitting side-by-side teaching our toddler how to draw a circle on a page. I love the energy that comes from working in a space I’m passionate about, but also the calmness that comes from watching our child play in the sand.

I’m appreciative that my workplace allows me to work part time, giving me dedicated time to spend with our now toddler as she grows up.

Did you know we have a whole family focussed community you can join on Facebook for more discussions like this? Join the Mamamia Family Facebook group and follow  Mamamia Family on Instagram and tell us what #parentinglookslike for you!

Feature Image: Supplied.

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