Dear Woolworths: Well played. Very well played.

By BERN MORLEY

I had a feeling my son was a dealer.

I couldn’t be entirely sure but often when I dropped him off to school of a morning he was trying to conceal a plastic ziplock bag with something green inside of it.

So one morning, I followed him, falling just far enough behind to overhear him tell his classmate who was waiting patiently for him at the front gate that he’d “have to wait until first break before he could help him out”. My son is six.

That was when I launched myself and grabbed the bag out of his hand only to be confronted with cards.

Woolworths Australian animal cards.

What kind of black market racketeering did he consider THIS?

If you’re not across these, let me fill you in.

The mega supermarket chain that is Woolworths released a series of cards with nine different Australian habitats. From bush to wetlands to a kid’s very own backyard, these cards came with a fun and unique fact about each and every animal.

It really needs to be pointed out here though that whoever came up with this concept is a freaking genius. I truly wonder if they had any idea that their idea would be this massive. Whether they did or they didn’t, I sincerely hope that they or those people are receiving a hearty pat on the back right now.

Children are literally begging their parents to shop at Woolworths so they can get more of these cards.

I mean, who honestly knew that the kids of Australia, when faced with competition such as AFL and One Direction, would become obscenely obsessed with securing cards about platypuses and wombats? No me, that’s for sure.

And it’s not just about the cards themselves. It’s about the involvement.

It’s about the lessons that they are learning when it comes to values of certain cards, especially ones that may be more difficult to source.

It’s also, most importantly about being a part of something they can all bond over.

For some reason, our local Woolworths has had rather a heavy hand when it comes to doling these cards out, often not even bothering to check how much I’ve spent and grabbing, and I am not kidding, an adult-sized handful when I purchase nothing more than some hair mousse and a 3L milk. Hence my son being able to take advantage of his classmates and show his early capitalistic tendencies.

This is nothing new, the swapping of items in the schoolyard. When I was a kid, we swapped stationery or marbles.

What IS new is the parental involvement and let’s face it, obsession.

“Oh no, Woollies have sold out of the animal card album. Not restocking until December. Trying to work out how we can get the album sooner. Try eBay perhaps?. I wonder if there’s a black market for animal trading card albums?”

“Anyone got any of those Woolworths animal cards? I’m collecting them for mum’s cousin’s daughter. She’s desperate.”

“Ok parents, anyone want to do some Woolies Animal card swaps? We are on the hunt and we have spares to trade. Who is keen?”

“XXXXwood Primary School Woolworths Animal Card Trading day, Saturday 19th at 3pm. Swap, buy and sell.”

But I guess, this isn’t so bad. Since my son started collecting these cards he now knows that Echidnas have no ears and that box jellyfish have 24 eyes.

In fact, to Woolworths, I salute you. You released something that is both fun and inadvertently educational. And to this I say, well played. Well played indeed.

Your move, Coles.

Editor’s Note: This is not a sponsored post for Woolworths.

BREAKING NEWS: Everybody remain calm, but Woolworths has announced that they are re-printing the Aussie Animals Activity and Collector’s Albums.

Are your children obsessed with the cards as well? What lengths have yours gone to, to secure these?