10 things you would never hear a woman say.

“I love kale.”

It’s a simple enough sentence. And yet, it’s so smug, it would make you want to kick the kale-lover in the shins.

That’s why it’s lucky that no woman would ever say it. And thanks to Those Two Girls, we’ve learned another nine things that women would ‘never’ say.

When was the last time you made a note in your diary, “I can’t wait for my pap smear!”? Never? Same. That’s what makes this video so damn funny.

Those Two Girls have been making us laugh all week, and their videos will keep on coming. Brisbane comedians Sarah and Lise, are surely, SURELY not the type of women who would “have no idea how to open a bottle of wine” (that’s one of the things a woman would never say FYI). We just assume they can, because they are our new favourite people.

Check out ’10 Things Women Would Never Say’. And if you are the kind of person to say one of them, then you should take a niiiiice long look at yourself in the mirror.

Because nobody loves a smug kale-lover.