A world-first legal battle has come to a close.
This story started back in 2011, when a 28-year-old woman passed away from bowel cancer.
Prior to her death, however, she signed a note giving permission for her eggs to be frozen.
After she passed away, the young woman’s 59-year-old mother approached various UK fertility clinics requesting her daughter’s eggs be fertilised with donor sperm. She hoped the fertilised eggs would then be placed inside her, and she could eventually bear her own grandchildren.
Top Comments
It is possible that with her loss this woman is not quite herself. The grief of losing her daughter may need time to be fully processed. She feels to be distracting herself with this mission from the feeling the full extent of her pain. In my opinion it is not a choice a woman in her right of mind of my age would make. I am 59, fit, vital and very active and even though I am in excellent health I can assure you this is not the time in life to be giving birth – the body is not in that stage of it's natural cycle . As I often say to new mothers-to-be and people planning to have a baby – Having 'a baby' can be an ideal as we do not just have a baby we are in fact making a 20 year commitment to another human being. To me it is not be fair on the child as by 20 the mother would be 80, if still alive.
I can also say I could not have thought of anything worst than my mother giving birth to my baby.
This feels to me to be a desperate act of a woman who has heavily identified herself as a mother, as many of us have done, and has yet to discover herself and her true potential as a woman.
Yes,but Kathleen,have you lost a daughter?
I lost my 17 year old daughter 2 years ago.
She had a terminal illness and I knew she was dying,but I never even thought about freezing eggs and having her children,and I only wish I had of!
I don't think its a case of a woman who isn't thinking properly or being on a mission to avoid feeling her pain. You could never avoid the pain!
I think you are being really judgemental of this grieving mother and also very unfair.
You shouldn't judge or criticise until you have walked in our shoes.
The woman should have been given the eggs,so her daughter could live on.
This is so unfair and so wrong!
And for you to say " it's a desperate act" is so cold,callous and cruel!
Shame on you!
It is extremely painful to lose someone so close and so young. I can totally respect your position. Not to take away from your suffering a great loss I put this question to you. Is it not cold, callous and cruel to heavily burden a child to fill the place of their mother? Is this an altruistic and loving choice for that child? Many people, I am one of these, have given birth to fulfill their own needs. To give life meaning. I have fallen into this trap as a mother of four and have had to learn the somewhat painful way to let them go. Our children are not our possessions. They are born through us. They have their own lessons to learn. I have learned that love is not exclusive, we can love all children as our grandchildren. Working with young children has taught me this. Our love is bigger than we can imagine. Some women cannot have children this does not mean that they do not have the capacity to love. We all have a deep love within, that is who we are. The more open we are to letting others in the more we can see and feel that we are all the same. Some of the children I work with are coming from extremely abusive dire circumstances. They all melt if you meet them with love, if you connect with them deeply, if you are not looking for anything from them, just being with them is enough. We as women have an enormous capacity to nurture but what I have learned is that first and foremost I had to learn how to nurture myself.So this is what I am referring to in my comment above – if we begin with self care, treating ourselves with the gentleness, consideration and love that we all deserve we can then begin to realize our full potential as truly nurturing women.
No. In my situation,it is not cold,callous and cruel to bear my daughter's children.It is not to fulfill my own needs. It is so my daughter can live on. I would not be "heavily burdening" the child by trying to be their mother! I would be their mother! That is so insulting! I am only 45, and am fit,healthy and active. It is not an act of selfishness. It is an act of selflessness.
And,unlike you,I didn't have children to fulfill my needs and give my life meaning.
I am glad you have learnt to nurture yourself and realise your full potential as a woman.
Hi Elle,
i have reread my comments and realise that i have been somewhat prescriptive, judgmental and harsh. thank you for pointing this out to me this has given me much to ponder on.
I feel bad for this woman. Most will probably disagree with me but I think she should be given the eggs. My only concern is her age and weather she has another grown up child to willing to help her look after the kids and also, once she's gone.