Woman live-tweets spectacularly awkward first date.

PLS STAHP.

What do you do if you’re sitting in a cafe, and you realise the couple next to you are on a first date? You eavesdrop, of course. And then what do you do, if the guy is a total twat, the girl looks desperate to escape, and the whole thing is is just too good to keep to yourself?

YOU LIVE-TWEET IT OF COURSE.

That’s what Canadian Anne Theriault Twitter, when she found herself witnessing what is possibly one of the most painful (and quick) fist dates of all time. Every one of her tweets is heaven from beginning to end:

Bullet dodged.