A Melbourne University student has called out a group of her classmates who added her to a group chat without realising she’d be able to read their previous messages, which were all about her.
Eleanor Henry, 22, said her stomach dropped as she scrolled through the thread containing her picture, alongside sexist commentary from the four boys, two of whom she’d never even spoken to before.
University student Eleanor Henry. Source: Facebook
"I'd throw her on the bed," one of the boys quipped, while another suggested, "Show me where you piss from," could be an effective pick up line.
They also joked about inviting her on their holiday to Thailand because they needed "a bike".
"I'd just gotten out of the shower and I picked up my phone and it was blowing up," Henry told Mamamia.
"The best way to explain it, is that my stomach dropped and I felt really sick, humiliated and dirty.
"I never draw my blinds in my apartment and I just drew my blinds because I felt very vulnerable."
The Commerce student's usual confidence was shattered, she felt "belittled."
"I started crying," she said, adding that she immediately called her sister, Tiffany Henry, for advice.
Eleanor and her sister Tiffany in 2012. Source: Facebook
Tiffany was studying in the US during the now infamous Stanford rape trial and both girls are painfully aware of the toxic "rape culture" poisoning University campuses both in Australia and abroad.
"It didn’t become so much about what I felt but what I could do for other women who have had similar experiences," Henry said, explaining her subsequent choice to post screen shots of the conversation on her Facebook page.
"Let's all wave hello to my fellow peers at Melbourne University," she accompanied the images.
"This is why I'll die a feminist. It's 2016... Let's get back to that conversation on equality."
Before the incident Henry had only met two out of four of the boys involved, and they rarely engaged outside the classroom.
Those two boys, with whom she completed a group assignment earlier this, reached out with "sincere" apologises.
The boy who made the most "most graphic" remarks also contacted her, but he told her to lighten up.
"He basically said, 'Well Eleanor, it’s a joke.'"
Henry, quite rightly, is refusing to accept the tired excuses and "boys will be boys" rhetoric.
"We talk about equality on a daily basis, we learn about it, but ultimately at a very base level it’s not permeating even our most educated demographic."
"It’s a much more deep-seeded issue and we need to educate ourselves about how we should be speaking, especially to women.
"You don’t speak to people like that. You don’t speak to women like that."
Top Comments
Good on her, the more this crap is called out, the better chance we have of changing attitudes
To brush ir off as boys being boys or hide it is only telling them its ok, they can get away with it so who cares who they hurt
it's unfortunate that she saw the remarks about her, but i do think she is overreacting by making it public. the same thing happened to my friend, although not sexual in nature, the group talk was discussing whether they should or shouldn't invite her, which was hurtful.
Oh that is awful. I'm sure people talk about me, but there is something to be said about being ignorant or unaware. :(
I dont think its in any way okay what they did but you're right, go to the faculty yes, make it public? I'm not so sure.
I disagree. The article says she made it known to the boys that she could read the messages and was offended, and while two offered sincere apologies, another did not see the error of his ways. Making it public is likely the only way he would learn that it's not okay, by seeing strangers' responses to his poor behaviour.
It's not a faculty matter as it didn't occur on campus. Nothing would likely come of reporting it to the university.
yes i agree, best to be ignorant and unaware. i was once the only girl in a class full of boys, and it really opened my eyes as to what they say when we aren't there (i guess they forgot i was there) so i'm not really shocked by what this girl read.
There's a difference between people being mean to you by not inviting you to a party and men talking about the disgusting sexual things they want to do to you because to them you're just an object and not their equal. I believe in this case they think of her as their "bike"....gross.
Would you be happy to attend classes with or work with men who speak of violating you? I highly doubt it.
If these matters aren't reported publicly then how will we raise awareness of the casual day-to-day sexism that women STILL have to put up with??
It not unfortunate that she saw the remarks, it's unfortunate that they were made in first place.