Winter is coming.
Though this does mean new episodes of Game Of Thrones (FINALLY!), it also means winter sports. Not just the cool winter sports like bobsledding and triple-flipping aerial skiing, but field sports. The footballs. The rugbys. The soccers. The other football. The other rugby. The other soccer.
Sigh. This is definitely going to cut into my Dance Moms schedule.
Don’t get me wrong, sports are great. I love me a bit of footy (say that in the most ocker accent you can muster). I just don’t need to watch alllll the games from alllll the angles of the field. From all around the world. From the 1972 Grand Final special repeat until today.
Because I’d rather be watching stage mothers yell at their dancing daughters. Obviously.
Fortunately, good ol’ Foxtel has got my back. If the TV in the living room is being hogged by men in short-shorts (as in, there are footballers on the screen… not an army of men in hot pants in my living room… ahem) then I can watch whatever I want on any other device.
Hello, watching Wentworth on my iPad in the bath.
Ladies, gentlemen, and any other non-sports-nuts: If you need a bit of help surviving the winter sports season dominating your screen, here’s the plan.
1. Flip a coin.
If the living room TV is the mecca of the house, then flip a coin to decide who wins the remote. The good news? There are no losers if you have another device you can watch with. The bathtub and your warm snuggly bed are pretty good options for the runner-up.
The perfect alternative. Image: iStock.
2. Snacks.
Does the TV even turn on if you don't have snacks? Surely not. Stock up on some good winter-y snacks to accompany your viewing schedule. If you want to be healthy, get some kale chips and activated nuts. If you're me, get a jar of Nutella and a spoon.
3. Save some for later.
With Foxtel Anytime, you don't have to watch your shows on schedule. Not only can you record them and save them for later, you can stream shows anytime, anywhere, as long as you're connected to the Internet. With new titles every day, you'll barely have time to leave the couch. Except you still have to go to work. But then you can just watch on your phone from the loo…
4. Show your (fake) colours.
Pretend to care about the sport that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/child is watching. Spend five minutes watching the beginning of the game between two random international teams playing with a ball. Encourage your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/child to keep watching. Sneak away and enjoy the next several hours of peace, ignoring the cheers coming from the living room, while you relax into some blissfully indulgent binge watching.
Lucy. Sports Fan. Image: Supplied.
5. Broaden your horizons.
Get stuck into something new this winter. I mean... you can suddenly learn the rules of a televised sport and watch that... if you want... but really, explore some of the new dramas and Aussie series on the Foxtel app. Your loved one has got all the sports they could possibly want to watch, so give yourself the same treat. Stream some of the world's best TV shows, take a gamble on something you don't know, or re-watch your old favourites. It's cold outside. Snuggle up with some TV characters.
Don't be afraid, like-minded people. We can survive this together. The winter sports season is a beast we can tame, if we just have the right tools. Slay the beast, guys. Slay the beast.
How do you survive the winter sport season?