wellness

Wim Hof is the latest wellness guru to face a reckoning.

This story includes descriptions of alleged domestic violence that may be distressing to some readers.

Wim Hof, the Dutch wellness figure famous for his cold-exposure and breathwork methods, has spent years amassing a global following.

His claims that the "Wim Hof Method" could improve mental health, boost immunity, and help manage chronic conditions like anxiety and depression made him a sensation in the wellness world.

But while Hof was being hailed as the "Iceman" celebrated for his health practices, a much darker reality was unfolding behind the scenes.

His ex-partner, Caroline has given a tell-all interview, accusing Hof of years of domestic violence, manipulation, and emotional abuse. The claims, detailed in de Volkskrant, paint a starkly different picture of the man behind the wellness movement.

Wim Hof. Image: Instagram

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A different side of the 'Iceman.'

Caroline, who was in a relationship with Hof for over ten years, recalls how he initially seemed like a calm and spiritual figure when she met him in 1996. At the time, he was still organising tree-climbing parties.

"He was a bit of a hippie-like character," Caroline recalled. "And he was good-looking."

"He seemed very pure, saying how he hadn't been in a relationship anymore after the death of his wife and was very inexperienced in these matters. It was almost touching," she said. However, it was a façade.

In 2002, when Caroline was 42, she became pregnant with their son, Noah. She hadn't planned to have another child, but Hof insisted that it was "nature" and "wonderful."

"I told him I wasn't on the pill and that we needed to be careful," Caroline said. "But he just dismissed it. I thought at my age the risk wasn't high, but it was. I didn't want an abortion, and he knew that. That's when he had me cornered."

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Caroline alleges the pregnancy marked a significant shift in the guru's behaviour; he became more aggressive, feeling more powerful and dominant as their relationship deepened and his fame grew. "He grew angrier," her daughter Nathalie claimed. "He felt more powerful."

ALSO READ: 'My partner was over the moon when I fell pregnant. Just a few weeks later, he changed.'

Image: Instagram

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The first escalation.

The first alleged instance of serious physical violence was when Caroline was just a few months pregnant, per her police report, she described a terrifying encounter in their living room.

"He slapped my face," Caroline told de Volkskrant. "Then he dragged me through the room by my hair and tried to kick me in the belly. I was just about able to hide behind the couch, so his kick only grazed me."

Hof maintains that the incident never occurred. Soon after, they welcomed Noah in 2002.

Another alleged incident was reportedly recorded in 2003, when Caroline ended up in the A&E. de Volkskrant reports that doctors wrote, "Cast-iron pan on right elbow. Abused by husband" on her file.

Hof called this "greatly exaggerated".

The children tell their side of the story.

Caroline has three children, a son and daughter from a previous marriage, Christiaan and Nathalie, and Noah, who she welcomed with Hof. They have also spoken about the tense relationships in their family.

de Volkskrant records two incidents that the children told police, including Christiaan saying he was kicked and pushed and Nathalie saying she was elbowed in the face, "damaging my tongue."

Nathalie also alleged that Hof threw hot coffee at her face, causing redness and burns — which he said was an "accident." She also claimed that Hof would berate her, saying she wasn't allowed to "stand inside his energy circle."

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The children claim they lived in constant fear, witnessing and being victims of Hof's alleged outbursts over the years. de Volkskrant reports that the Dutch Child Welfare Council found that Noah had experienced such psychological violence that he couldn't be "confronted" with his father, and was diagnosed with PTSD.

In 2010, Caroline had asked that Hof move out of the family home, but he didn't. Things escalated, and Christiaan came home at his mother's request. He alleges that Hof punched him.

"Wim opened the door and immediately started shouting very aggressively that he would smash my head in. He was making these karate moves. At one point he punched me in the stomach. (…) Out of self-defence I then slapped his face," he told police in a report, per de Volkskrant.

A fight ensued and Christiaan suffered a nosebleed and a black eye. Caroline was able to call the police and they arrested Hof mid-way through the scuffle. Now, the police were involved.

In 2012 the case went to court and Hof was placed on court-ordered community service for the assault on Christian.

After the incident with Christiaan, the mayor of Amsterdam took out a temporary restraining order against Hof, the reasoning being that he "used physical violence", "made death threats", that "the gravity and frequency of the violence has increased over the years" and that the children had been "witnesses to and victims of that violence."

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Caroline said she finally decided to give a detailed police report on the the many years of domestic violence she allegedly endured, but the case was never taken any further.

de Volkskrant reports that a public prosecutor recently called Caroline to apologise for not following up, but confirmed to the publication that the report was dismissed for 'lack of evidence'.

Even after separating, Caroline alleges that Hof would coerce her to agree to sex with him, something that de Volkskrant reports is mirrored in notes from Child Welfare.

"Only later, in therapy, I started to realise that what he was doing was actually rape," Caroline alleged. "He would constantly threaten me, for example that he would do something to Christiaan. By giving into his demands, I was hoping to keep us safe."

Hof calls this "lies and manipulation of the truth."

In 2011, the court ordered that Hof forfeit parental access. Hof told de Volkskrant that he was never violent.

A life that's hard to escape.

Hof has gone on to have his sixth child in 2018, with a new partner, and his brother claims that he is about to become a father again soon.

He has spoken sparingly about his relationship with Caroline, telling Algemeen Dagblad in 2021, "I was left behind like a wounded animal. I had nobody left. I wasn't even allowed to see the son I had with her anymore."

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When Caroline was told that a new movie was being made by a British film producer about Hof, pegged as an 'inspiring', 'moving' and 'extremely funny' movie, she couldn't believe it.

They've gone public with their story in order to distance themselves from the narrative.

Noah told de Volkskrant, "We want to go our own way and not be part of this lie anymore."

Image: Instagram

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A culture of 'wellness gurus'.

Hof's fall from grace mirrors the controversies faced by other high-profile figures in the wellness world.

Russell Brand, once known as a British comedian, has in recent years transformed himself into a wellness advocate and spiritual guru, promoting mindfulness, self-help, and social consciousness through his books, podcasts, and YouTube channel.

However, in 2023, Brand's spiritual image was shattered when he faced serious allegations of sexual assault and emotional abuse.

According to a joint investigation by The Sunday Times, The Times, and Channel 4 Dispatches, four women came forward with accusations against Brand, claiming that the assaults took place between 2006 and 2013, at the height of his fame.

One of the most disturbing allegations involved a woman who was just 16-years-old, who claimed Brand referred to her as "the child" throughout their relationship, exerted controlling and manipulative behavior, and even sent a car to pick her up from school to take her out of classes.

In another case, a woman alleged that Brand raped her in his Los Angeles home in 2012 after she refused to participate in sexual activities with another woman. According to the report, she sought medical help immediately after the incident and was treated at a Rape Treatment Center. Brand later sent her a text message apologising for his behavior, describing it as "crazy and selfish."

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Brand has denied all the allegations, stating that while he was "very promiscuous," all his relationships were "absolutely consensual." Nonetheless, the revelations shocked his followers, many of whom had viewed Brand as a reformed man who had left his past behind to embrace a life of spirituality and wellness.

Image: YouTube.

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Similarly, Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist and popular podcaster, has been accused of toxic behavior in his personal relationships.

According to a New York Magazine report, Huberman allegedly engaged in manipulative actions, infidelity, and emotional abuse toward multiple women. Although Huberman has not faced the same level of legal scrutiny as Hof or Brand, the allegations have nonetheless left his followers stunned.

One woman expressed her disappointment on social media, stating, "Here I thought Andrew Huberman was my online role model, only to learn he shares the traits of people (men) that have hurt me most in life."

Feature image: Instagram.

If this has raised any issues for you, or if you just feel like youneed to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)– the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service.

Mamamiais a charity partner of RizeUpAustralia, a national organisation that helps women, children and families move on after the devastation of domestic and family violence. Their mission is to deliver life-changing and practical support to these families when they need it most. If you would like to support their mission you can donate here.