BACH FLUFF: Why Sophie Monk should absolutely pick James over Stu.

They say when it comes to finding the one, you just know.

This is precisely the reason we know The Bachelorette’s Sophie Monk should absolutely, unequivocally choose James over Stu.

Case closed. End of story. Let’s all live happily ever after.

No, we’re not relationship experts. We’ve also never met either James or Stu. Or Sophie, for that matter. Details.

But when it comes over-analysing the highly-produced and wildly unrealistic goings on in the Bach mansion, we know our sh*t.

Which brings us to our point: Sophie, if you’re reading, let’s go through all the reasons we hope to God you’re loved up with James right now.

*If you picked Stu, that’s so fine, just quickly chuck a Blake Garvey, no one will notice…

Aside from being able to change your car tyres and do your taxes – which are definitely things you can also do for yourself, if you want – there’s one blindingly obvious reason to chose the 31-year-old accountant over the 44-year-old ‘publican’.

BECAUSE HE’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED FOR.

You said you wanted 'nice'. You said you wanted 'normal'. Someone you hadn't met before who doesn't exist in the confines of your circle. Being the heir to a hotel empire worth 500 MILLION DOLLARS is not normal. Oh, and did you forget about the bit where you already know each other?

Sorry for shouting, but honestly, when the Channel 10 fairy godmothers hand you everything you said you wanted in a man on a silver platter, you don't question it. You just say thanks and get it on.

This is why, when a millionaire with cheekbones of epic proportions who moves in the same circles as you do steps out of a helicopter to woo you with expensive champagne, you back away slowly and hide behind the man who got down on one knee and twirled a bloody ribbon in a public place for you.

So for the sake of our tired hearts, pretty please just go for the nice, normal dude you said you wanted.

OK?

Great.

LISTEN: Mamamia's (self-confessed) Bachelorette experts dissect the highly relevant and important details of the week in the mansion that was on Bach Chat...