It may not have to do with their relationship.
We know people cheat. That is not something we can argue. But we don’t always know why.
A recent talk by practicing psychotherapist. Esther Perel on TEDTalks suggests that up to 76 per cent of people in a relationship cheat in some form. It’s a shocking number, but it’s real.
And while I can feel the heat of the steam coming out of your ears if you’e someone who has been cheated on, you need to hear Perel’s theory on why people (happy people) cheat. Hint: It isn’t because of you. And if you’re someone to who has cheated – you really need to tune in.
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The main point of Perel’s talk is explaining about how cheating can actually have more to do with the person cheating than on their relationship or their partner. It isn’t about whether they are fulfilled or unfulfilled in a relationship, it’s about their personal stability.
“When we seek the gaze of another, it isn’t always our partner that we are turning away from, but the person that we have ourselves become,” Perel says in the TED Talk. “And it isn’t so much as we are looking for another person as much as we are looking for another self.”