We want our marriages to last forever. But In far too many cases, they simply don’t. These four brave women shared their stories of why they decided to divorce their husbands, stories which may sound eerily similar to what you are going through in your own life.
1. He was a man-child.
“I made my second husband leave because he was lazy and unmotivated. He was all too happy to get a free ride and made promises he had no intention of keeping. He later said, in retrospect, that everything had always somehow worked out for him before so he expected his luck would still hold. Basically, he was hoping for magic to take the place of effort.”
2. He was a perpetual liar.
"The first lie he told was that he had to work during our first Thanksgiving together, so he couldn't come to my parents' house. I came home early to a messy apartment and him playing with his computer games. I later went to the place he was working only to see a sign saying they were closed for the holiday.
I then found him sending money to his ex because she called and asked him to help her. (Yes, she knew we were married!) 10 months later, I found out I had cancer. Over 3 years I had seven surgeries, he was only here for one. He was still on the road, cheating and telling me that he was "just friends" with the ex.
He rarely celebrated my birthday and was also sneaking money to the ex. He left for a tour on my birthday and didn't even leave a card — and that was the final straw. When he came home after 10 months and only three phone calls, I presented him with divorce papers and told him I had something this year for HIS birthday, something he would always remember. The look of shock was priceless as I kicked him out."
3. He was threatened by my career.
"After 17 years of marriage, my ex-husband's friend convinced him I was cheating because I travel so much. He had a seed of doubt planted in his mind and began reading into the most innocent things.
If a woman bought new undies, it must mean she was cheating. If a woman travels alone, she's meeting her boyfriend. If a married woman talks to a man who isn't her husband, she's a cheater.
One night, I fell asleep early after working a long weekend at my other job. I was in a deep sleep and my husband yanked me from the bed and threw me against a wall, then pushed me into the closet, yelling ugly names at me and telling me to get out of the house.
He had taken my phone and read an email to a man from a business trip that insinuated if I ever was interested, then to get in touch. I won't get into the more violent details but he threw my phone in the pond in our backyard. Needless to say, I divorced him."
4. We just didn't fit.
"I met him when I was 20 and in college. He was the greatest guy in the world — hilarious, generous, smart, ambitious, contemplative, the life of the party, a ridiculously awesome dancer.
We dated for ten years and eloped a few years ago. I now realize that if you don't want to marry someone almost immediately, it probably isn't right. Looking back, it was as if our relationship needed to endure massive struggles to stay afloat.
I always felt slightly uneasy, but he was such a great guy and I'd known him for so long. We wanted kids and had planned out our life together. I never thought I'd find anyone as great as him. But I never loved kissing him.
I looked at him and loved him but it wasn't being "in love." There was never passion there, even at the beginning. When I finally admitted it to myself, my confidence level jumped through the roof. I felt like I could conquer the world because I was now finally honest.
Recently, he thanked me for having the courage to do something that he would never have done because he is loyal to a fault. He will continue to do great things, be an amazing father some day, and be the phenomenal risk-taking entrepreneur that he is."
This post originally appeared on YourTango and was republished here with full permission.
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I'm Not Attracted To My Wife Anymore (And I'm Ashamed To Say Why).
