“Because divorcing him means that little gold digging bitch gets what she wants.”
People cheat on their partners for any number of reasons. Maybe they’re searching for emotional fulfilment elsewhere, they’re curious or bored, or maybe they just want to put their junk in someone else’s trunk.
But we don’t tend to talk about how the person being cheated on responds.
Some leave – but some people choose to look the other way. And the question their friends often wonder is: Why?A recent thread on Reddit asked partners why they looked away when they knew that their partner was being unfaithful.
As it happens, the reasons for staying with a cheater were as many and varied as those for cheating in the first place.
Here are some of the reasons why they stayed:
As one user explains: “Because divorcing him means that little gold digging bitch gets what she wants.”
Though the question stands: Is the Other Woman the right target for your wrath?
2. After a while, you just stop caring.
One user said they turned a blind eye because of emotional detachment.
“Over the years, we just stopped caring for each other in a romantic way,” they wrote. “We just stopped caring for each other in a romantic way.”
This particular couple now sleep in separate rooms, and don’t chat much any more.
“Niether of us minds it too much. At the very least, they’re reliable. Fun to watch TV with.”
3. Low self-esteem.
“Depression and co-dependance,” one user writes. “I never had real proof until late in the marriage, but I suspected many times. I was right and really felt something was wrong but ignored it because I was in a terrible place with myself.”
This was a common theme, with many people agreeing that a high tolerance for infidelity often corresponded with low levels of self esteem.
“I defined my own happiness based on the idea of having a partner,” one man wrote. “If I had a partner I was okay, even if the relationship was toxic because she was abusing my trust.”
4. Because you love them.
One woman describes her experience of having her husband cheat on her with a co-worker for nearly five years and calling him out for having phone-sex while she was in the other room.
“I stayed because I loved him,” she said. “I had never lived on my own and had been in relationship all my adult life, so didn’t know how not to be in one. Also, he was all I had for a long time.”
“And it seemed that, in some way, he loved me. Obviously he was getting something from her that he wasn’t getting from me, but he was still getting something from me that he couldn’t get from her.
“I’m boring, I’m not attractive. The fact that someone was having sex with me on occasion and telling me he loved me was a miracle.”
She eventually left her husband, and was sorry she didn’t do it sooner.
One woman was seven months pregnant with her second child when she found out another woman was also pregnant by her husband.