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'A transactional experience.' What Khloe Kardashian wished she knew before using a surrogate.

Khloe Kardashian wishes people were more "honest" about surrogacy journeys, opening up about how she felt when her son was born last year.

Khloe and her on-off partner Tristan Thompson, welcomed their second child, whose name she confirmed as Tatum in The Kardashians season three premiere, via surrogate in July 2022.

The week after the embryo transfer in November 2021, Khloe learned Tristan had secretly fathered a child with fitness model Maralee Nichols.

Khloe and the basketball player also share five-year-old daughter True.

In The Kardashians premiere, she told sister Kim Kardashian and Scott Disick that time in her life was "a mindf**k".

Kim, who had daughter Chicago and son Psalm via surrogate after two previous high-risk pregnancies, told her sister she thought there could be a difference in 'connection'.

"I do think there is a difference when the baby is in your belly, the baby actually feels your real heart," she said.

"There is no one else on this planet who will feel you from the inside like that. People can connect in different ways, some cannot connect."

Image: Instagram @khloekardashian.

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Scott then asked Khloe if she felt less connected.

"Mmhm," she replied, pointing out that Kim had found a connection with her children much quicker than she had.

Scott told her to give it time, and she said it definitely hadn't been an easy journey.

"I definitely buried my head in the sand during that pregnancy," Khloe said in a confessional. 

She added that she "didn't digest what was happening. And so I think when I went to the hospital, I really think that was the first time that (it) really registered".

"And it has nothing to do with the baby," she added, alluding to the personal and public storm surrounding her and Tristan at that time.

"It's just, you're like, 'Okay, we're having a baby, and this is my son, and I'm taking him home with me.'"

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She said she wished there was more honest conversations about what the surrogacy experience could be like.

"I definitely was in a state of shock, I think from my entire experience in general," she continues.

"I felt really guilty that this woman just had my baby and I take the baby, and then I go to another room. And you're sort of separated. I felt it's such a transactional experience because it's not about him.

"I wish someone was honest about surrogacy and the difference of it. But it doesn't mean it's bad or good - it's still great. It's just very different."

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In a March 2021 episode of The Kardashians, Khloe explained that her doctor had informed her that if she fell pregnant again it would be high-risk.

"I'm not gonna get into specifics on camera, but they said it's an 80 per cent chance I'll miscarry. I almost miscarried with True at the beginning. But I didn't know that was a lingering thing," she said.

"[My doctor] said she would feel terrible putting [an embryo] in without warning me that most likely I wouldn't be able to carry."

In an October 2022 interview on The Kelly Clarkson Show, Khloe explained the difference between her surrogacy and Kim's.

"Not every (surrogacy) journey is the same," she said. "Mine was very different from hers. I think her journey was more ... it was more comfortable for her. I'm such a control freak... I love my surrogate, she was amazing, but I'm still like, 'I need you sitting next to me all the time, I need to know what you're doing. What are you eating?'"

She also said she wouldn't have explored the option if not for Kim.

"If it wasn't for Kimberly, I don't think I would have been aware. I wouldn't have known as much. I watched her go through her journey and I'm so grateful about how open she's always been about her journey."

The Kardashians airs weekly on Thursdays, on Disney+.

Feature image: Hulu/Instagram @khloekardashian.

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