sex

"Isn't my baby enough of a gift? Hell no, I want a diamond, too."

Isn’t your baby enough of a gift on B-day? Hell no, says this mum-to-be.

To all the women I know who shake their head in disgust over a push present – you have no clue.

I’m 34 weeks pregnant. And let me tell you. Being pregnant isn’t easy. Growing a little human is a tough job. And seeing as though I don’t do well at growing plants, I am aceing the growing of a baby.

Seeing as though I am getting pretty close to B-day, I asked my husband what he was planning on getting me for my very first push present. Not that I am going to be doing much pushing, if I get my way.

In true male style, he had no idea what a push present is. For those who are similarly in the dark, a push present is a gift that the father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth. And therefore, I rightly assumed he hadn’t picked something out yet. Which was fine. I wasn’t upset. I usually prefer to pick my presents out for him to buy. That way I know I will definitely like it.

So when I Googled push present ideas (I already had an idea of what I wanted, I just wanted to broaden my horizons) I came across all these angry women saying how terrible push presents are.

Are you serious?

I’m sorry, no I am not sorry. If I have to live with my swollen cankles for months, I better be getting a diamond in something. Okay, I know, some people get a swish fancy car and really that is too much. Although, technically a Black Land Rover 4 Wheel Drive would be a present for both me and that baby – safety and all.

But really, what is the problem? I spoke to my friend about this and turns out she is on the “other” side. “Isn’t the baby the best present?” It’s fine, I won’t judge her. She hasn’t gone through pregnancy and had to look at her swollen veiny belly every morning in the shower. And, for the record, no a baby isn’t a gift. Yes, they are wonderful and cute and I can’t wait for my baby to come into the world. But I know when baby comes, my life will be change for ever, and they will steal my sleep. Presents don’t do that.

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So why do I want a push present?

Because I want some recognition that that last eight months (soon to be nine) was hard work. That the next 21 years will be hard work too. And I want something to look forward to besides the baby when I am having a metre long needle stuck in my spine. When I am mid the 20th nappy change in the middle of the night and have poo smeared all over my hands, I want to be able to look down and see the beautiful sparkler to at least give me some hope in those first few months. I also want to be able to remember the day, and that is what the necklace will do.

So sorry, but I don't think wanted a sparkler makes me selfish. Of course I will love my son or daughter more than my diamond necklace (it feels silly even typing that sentence). I just want a well-deserved present, too.

Seriously. What is wrong with that?

Did you get a push present? Do you think it's absolutely fair enough to expect one? 

CLICK THROUGH this gallery to see all the presents these celeb mums got: