'There was no penetration.' All your questions about The White Lotus finale, answered.

It's over.

The White Lotus season two finale went out with a (couple of) bang(s) (namely from a gun and also Tanya's head on the side of a boat).

And while we gasped and screamed and cursed GODDAMN YOU GREG, Mike White's writing also leaves a lot of grey area up for audience interpretation. So... we have questions. Many of them.

Watch: The White Lotus season 2 trailer. Post continues below video.

Here's what we've been left pondering after watching the finale episode:

WHY did TANYA have to DIE?

A DEVASTATING end.

But one that creator Mike White always knew was going to happen.

"[It's] not that I really wanted to kill Tanya because I love her as a character and obviously love Jennifer," he said in a video for HBO Max.

"But we're going to Italy, she's such a diva, a larger-than-life female archetype, it felt maybe we could devise our own operatic conclusion to her life and story.

"I felt her dying at the hands of someone else felt too tragic."

Jennifer Coolidge said White told her Tanya's fate very early on. She tried to convince him not to kill her off, but obviously... it didn't work.

"I said to him jokingly throughout the filming, I'm like, 'You don't have to, you know? Tanya doesn't have to die.' I would joke with him," she told Vulture.

What really happened between Cameron and Harper?

In the finale, Harper admitted to Ethan that she and Cameron had kissed. But Aubrey Plaza is pretttty sure her character was withholding some information.

"I know what happened, okay?" Plaza said on Late Night With Seth Meyers. "And what happened is, we did some stuff, and I hated every minute of it. It was disgusting, and there was no penetration."

She questioned Meyers' belief that they had only kissed.

"Just a kiss?" 

Meyers suggested maybe one "grabbed the other one's butt".

"I think I grabbed a little more than that," she replied.

This is pretty much in line with Theo James' thoughts too.

"In terms of what specifically happened, though, it was probably more than she let on by half," the actor told Vulture. "Maybe not the most extreme version of that scenario, but there was something else."

KNEW IT.

WHERE IS GREG?

Image: HBO/Binge.

When Greg swanned off back to the States for a couple of days mid-holiday, it was suspicious. 

But suss in the way that we all thought he was just having an affair. It took a little longer for us to realise he was orchestrating an elaborate murder plot with a gaggle of faux high-end gays, including one who was deeply in love with him.

I expected him to turn up at the end, but he didn't. Where was he? What's he been up to? Will he be traced back to Quentin et al. at some point?

Or will bachelor Greg, drunk on power and his dead wife's money, take on season three? He's probably also going to inherit her White Lotus Blossom Circle status, after all.

I hope he does, just so we can get his inevitable death and/or prison sentence.

Was Greg trying to con Tanya from the very beginning?

With the way season two wrapped up, it's hard not to wonder if Greg and Tanya's meeting in season one was masterminded by him, playing the long game to scam her out of her money.

But Coolidge doesn't think it was that well thought out.

"I do not think that Greg had planned — I think Mike was trying to figure out what he was going to do with Greg. God, it was so funny because I have all these smart friends and neighbours that go back and look early on at the episodes, and one of my neighbours in New Orleans said, 'Oh my God, I went back to episode one and there was this line that Greg says where you realise he had this planned all along.' And you're like, 'Oh my God, that is so smart of them to figure that out.'" Coolidge told Vulture.

"But I think Mike had not planned for Greg to go this way. He had good intentions for Greg, but thought maybe it'd be more interesting if he was awful."

I mean... it is interesting. But it also cost us Tanya!

Why did the police not question Portia?

So, I get that Portia was scared of what would happen to her if she got involved, especially after Jack's 'these people are dangerous' speech.

it's so funny to me that Portia was trying to "blend in" and stay hidden in case the bad guys were looking for her, but her disguise was...massive sunglasses and a colorful scarf on top of her hat? not an ounce of common sense in her brain!#TheWhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/6wH0okGC4n

— Spencer Althouse (@SpencerAlthouse) December 12, 2022

But the complete lack of self-preservation from her throughout the finale was INFURIATING. 

Why did she just accept everything? Why did she get into the car with a man she thought had kidnapped her? Why did she not call for help when she got her phone back? Will she go to police herself once back on US soil?

I've also seen a few questions about her passport, which I think I can answer.

When Portia's frantically checking the room for her phone, she looks in a small passport-shaped bag inside of her other bag, and is satisfied with the contents, so it seems that she took it with her to Palermo and can therefore GTFO of Italy without having an awkward call to the Embassy.

But the most frustrating part of this storyline is how the investigation into the bodies didn't have the police urgently trying to track down Portia to talk.

Tanya paid for her hotel room, so police could've easily learned they travelled together. She never checked out! Go find out what the hell happened to her before she leaves the country, you idiots!

Did Daphne and Ethan hookup on Isola Bella?

Meghann Fahy's acting when Ethan tells Daphne about Cameron and Harper was out of this world. The way she cycles through confusion, devastation, and acceptance in a few seconds, with it all clear as day on her face, was a masterclass.

This led to her sharing similar sentiments with Ethan as she did with Harper earlier in the season, about doing whatever you need to do to not feel like a victim.

Meghann Fahy is SUCH a good actor. these 30 seconds of Daphne processing her husband’s affair (and then calculating how she’s gonna get back at him) are perfection#TheWhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/razdMtDu5G

— Spencer Althouse (@SpencerAlthouse) December 12, 2022

Then she encourages her to join her on Isola Bella, which is connected to the mainland by a narrow path. The camera cuts away before we see what happens when they get there, leaving a lot up to our imaginations.

Mine when straight to... 'well, they hooked up as revenge', how about yours?

Speaking to Variety after the finale, actor Will Sharpe said Ethan and Daphne's actions were "open to interpretation".

"But I feel like whatever happened, in a literal sense, that moment between them is definitely a moment of connection. It's a moment of intimacy. I think there's something about Daphne’s sense of self, and the accommodation she has found with who she is, and how she’s living. Something about that, I think, affects Ethan," he said.

I think the biggest sign that something happened was that Ethan came back and had sex with Harper, after she'd spent the rest of the season trying to initiate it and feeling rejected.

Ethan and Cameron always had some weird competition going on, so it'd make sense that Ethan got his mojo back after hooking up with Daphne, which he'd see as 'one-upping' his old college friend.

Plus, there's this brief scene from the opening sequence, which shows ~something~ happening in private on the island.

Image: HBO.

Feature Image: HBO.

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