‘Tell me your pet is the boss of the household without telling me. I’ll go first.’

With seven humans in our household, you’d think there would be some struggle for alpha status. Would it be my husband, the tallest by more than a foot? Or me, master of the family schedule and maker of the babies? Or our assertive oldest child? Maybe her fearless middle sister? Could it be our fresh newborn, the tiny, milk-obsessed dictator? Or maybe my parents, who actually own the house we all live in while our renovations creep along?

Spoiler alert: it’s none of the above.

Instead Ruby, our six-year-old Beagle, has the whole household wrapped around her furry little paw.

As I write this, my knees are uncomfortably jammed to one side with my laptop perched on top because Ruby has decided that the only acceptable spot to sit (in the whole house) is right under me. And naturally I wouldn’t dream of moving her because, as a mere human, I’ll take a puppy snuggle in whatever form I can get it. 

And I’m absolutely not alone. Here are 10 things you’ll know to be true if your household is also ruled by your pet.

1. Your dog has more toys than your child.

Or at least more toys than your third child. And no hand-me-downs here. 

Nothing like a fresh squeaky to show your love, even though we all know an old sock (or a brand new shoe) would bring just as much joy.

2. There is a bed for your pet in every room.

But of course they prefer to lay on the actual sofa, bed and/or antique armchair. 

Unfortunately, there is a certain degree of messiness (read: dog hair on everything) we have to accept as pet owners. While I want our fur baby to be comfy, when you’re at home a lot (WFH or just doing normal family life) you notice when things aren’t so... well, fresh (read: the house starts to smell like a pet shop). 

Cue the Bissell Proheat 2X Revolution Pet Carpet Cleaner. This bad boy is a deep-cleaning machine that even out-cleans leading rentals. The multipurpose cleaner has two modes of cleaning – Deep Clean Mode and Express Clean Mode – and easily removes pet hair, stains and odours from upholstery and carpets. 

Plus, all of this cleaning power comes in a lightweight and manoeuvrable machine with a specially designed low-profile foot that means we can actually get under furniture and tackle the pet hair graveyard lurking below the sofa. Big. Yes. 

With Christmas coming up (which inevitably brings a lot of visitors with it), the Bissell Proheat 2X Revolution Pet Carpet Cleaner will be an absolute lifesaver... and time-saver too. As a pet owner and busy parent, it’s a more convenient and effective way to keep the house feeling constantly fresh and clean, compared to the fuss and ongoing expense of hiring rentals – especially during the festive season.

Image: Supplied.

3. Your social life is heavily influenced by your pet's preference.

Forged a fledgling friendship with that cool couple at the park? Sorry, they’re dead to you now because your furry darling inexplicably hates small dogs with pointy ears. And also you can’t ever go back to that specific park. Ever. 

On the plus side, you know every dog-friendly pub in a 10km radius of your house and you're treated like royalty as long as your pet is making an appearance.

4. Your dog eats before everyone else, and quite possibly has a more exotic meal.

Followed by a four course degustation of anything that drops from the kid’s plates during their dinner. 

5. Your pet’s holidays cost more than yours.

On the rare occasion that your destination isn’t specifically chosen based on being pet-friendly, you spend twice the price of your accommodation on doggy vacation care. 

Image: Supplied.

6. You chose your outfits based on your pet’s shedding patterns.

A bonus feature of our Tricolour Beagle? She sheds in three colours. 

Even if your pet only sheds in monochrome, you still adapt your wardrobe or at the very least keep a lint roller and a fabric freshening spray by the front door. 

The internet overlords at Meta have caught on to this and I’m almost exclusively served Instagram ads for ‘pet-hair repelling activewear’. Have I purchased three pairs already? You bet. 

7. You don’t just buy your dog presents, you sign their name on gifts you buy for other members of the family.

Your partner, your kids, your parents, and of course all of their pets. 

Bonus points if you add a little paw print emoji to their signature.

8. You coordinate WFH days with your partner to make sure the dog doesn’t get lonely.

On the days you can’t make it happen you either book the (very expensive) dog walker, or make a banger podcast playlist so your fur baby won’t be bored.

9. Your pet has the prime position on the bed, nevermind what that means for your sleeping position.

RIP our spinal health but ALWAYS worth it for those precious snuggles.

Is your pet head of your household? Tell us in the comments.

Get your home ready for Christmas lunch with the Bissell Proheat 2X Revolution Pet Carpet Cleaner. 

Feature Image: Supplied.