lifestyle

When the 5000 friend limit on Facebook just isn’t enough.

Is the word ‘friend’ becoming devalued what with all this social networking? With Twitter friends and Facebook friends….is it losing its meaning as a description of someone you even KNOW?

In her piece called “The Age of Friend-aholics”  in the LA Times, writer Megan Daum makes the point that we’re diluting what it means to call someone a friend:

Call me geriatric or Amish or just uncool (I gave all that away last
week when I admitted I thought Ne-Yo was a sushi place), but I think of
a friend as an actual person with whom I have an actual history and who
I enjoy actually seeing. It seems, however, that this is no longer the
definition of “friend.”

A friend is someone on your Facebook
page or in your Twitter circle. A friend is someone you might know
personally but who could just as easily be the friend of a friend of
some other Facebook friend you don’t actually know. In any case, these
friends have been assigned value not necessarily because of anything
they’ve actually done with you or for you, but because, well, they just
exist in the world and so do you.


The idea of
friendship, at least among the growing population of Internet social
networkers, is to attain as many of these not-really-friends as
possible. Hence, the alcoholism analogy, which I don’t make lightly.
Like cheap wine, “friends” provide a high that can only be sustained by
acquiring more and more of them. Quantity trumps quality.

But the fact remains that here, as in other economic markets, the
dollar is losing its value. Not only do these “friendships” represent a
shortcut to intimacy (thereby rendering it phony), they require a lot
of maintenance. You have to keep Twittering, instant-messaging and
texting lest you become a bad “friend.” As a result, for friendaholics
and those showing signs of friendaholism, socializing is less akin to
sharing life experiences than to sustaining a never-ending volley with
multiple partners in a giant electronic tennis game.

Do you draw a line in the sand (!) between REAL friends and internet ones? Do you have Facebook ‘friends’ you’ve never even met? Is your friend dance card full or are you constantly trying to accumulate more?

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Top Comments

Geoff King 16 years ago

Cath, looking forward to seeing you on Twitter, as part of Mia's ever growing fanbase ! I was initially sceptical, but gigdiary, and others convinced me it's the way to go . Enjoy !


Cath 16 years ago

Twitter's totally on my 'to do' list, gig... I just like to be fashionably late! Also occasionally, 'social networking' really gets me in, and I find myself resenting spending time on other, so called 'neccessary' tasks. Like personal cleanliness, and the purchase and preparation of food for the family! So I have to proceed with caution. Must remove something from life to fit in more social networking mediums... But what? Kids... no, quite fond of kids. Husband? No, he helps with kids. Paid employment... Yes! We have a winner. Paid employment it is! I'll see you there, soonish...