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GET OUT YOUR ROSES. The Bachelor will be on our TV screens in two weeks.

 

Stop.

We finally have a date.

The Bachelor 2019 starts Wednesday, July 31 at 7.30pm.

Excitement is an understatement, we’re living for this.

We’re so desperate for our injection of reality TV romance, we’ve been watching the UK versions of trashy reality TV.

(You are filling the void though Love Island. Many thanks.)

But now the time has come to watch Matt Agnew, the 31-year-old astrophysicist from Melbourne.

Here’s the trailer. Post continues after video.

Video by Ten

He’s very handsome and very smart, but as the Channel Ten promos tell us he’s very very ready for love, which is exactly what we need after the debacle that was the Honey Badger.

“You can’t have a cuddle with a PHD,” he tells the camera.

True. 

We also know from said promos, that the first episode is everything.

As one of his suiters Abbie approaches outside the mansion and asks, “What do you do?” he replies “astrophysicist” and without missing a beat she replies with, “Okay! I’m a Gemini.”

NO ABBIE NO. BUT YES… let us watch this in full please.

the Bachelor Australia contestants 2019
Here's Abbie.
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Mamamia's Jessie and Clare Stephens managed to kidnap Osher Gunsberg on the Logies red carpet a few weeks ago, and they got all of the goss.

Here's what we know is happening this season:

A bride shows up.

Look. This seems like a bit of a bold move to make when you’re meeting a potential boyfriend, but we are very much here for it.

You see, a woman steps out of a black car in a full wedding gown, holding a red bouquet of flowers and with a maid of honour by her side.

“Are you ready?” the mystery woman asks Matt as she walks down the red carpet.

“I’m not sure I am actually,” the new bachelor awkwardly responds.

“I’m definitely not afraid of commitment, but I feel this is moving pretty quick!,” Matt tells the camera.

Matt chooses someone.

Um, okay this is important information.

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Given the sh*t fight that was the Honey Badger choosing nobody in 2018, our hearts are full at the prospect of Matt Agnew finding wholesome love within the walls of The Bachelor mansion.

It is, after all, the entire premise of the show. Surely the Bach producers wouldn’t select a large group of women with influencer potential just for the sake of national exposure?

Of course not. 

Not only does Matt Agnew choose someone, he is IN LOVE.

Ding ding ding!

Osher told Mamamia, Matt Agnew does not ‘fall in love’ because of a contractual glitch, he is actually in love with the contestant who wins.

All those low-budget but high-adrenaline dates must have paid off.

Which brings us to our next theory, which has nothing to do with Osher and everything to do with Sportsbet.

We think… we know the winner.

Sportsbet kindly sent Mamamia an email letting us know that if the select few people who know who wins The Bachelor (family, friends, dodgy producers etc) have placed bets, then it’s very likely the winner of The Bachelor Australia 2019 is a lady named Chelsie.

Matt Agnew is one of the good guys.

Amidst the hustle and bustle of the red carpet, Osher leaned in and intimately whispered to Clare and Jessie, "No, he's a really good guy... He wants to have conversations with people about things other than himself."

Oh. We thought that was a myth.

We didn't know those types of guys actually... existed.

Which brings us to our closing theory.

Matt Agnew is an alien (hence the astrophysiology).

BRING ON WEDNESDAY JULY 31.

Make sure you to tune into Mamamia for all the very important Bachelor tea throughout the season. We have you covered.