Because we're all about positive reinforcement in the bedroom, we can get very loud about what we DO want during sex. "Do touch me there, do go faster, then go slower, then definitely go faster again." etc. etc.
...But is all of that proactive chatter distracting us from being super clear about what we definitely DON'T want in the bedroom?
Like, never ever.
To get some insights into what exactly are on women's never-ever-ever-no-thank-you-ma'am sexual anti-bucket lists, we decided to ask them straight up. In fact, we asked 1000 of them in the Mamamia Sex Survey, just to be sure.
Now, we must note that there were a lot (like, hundreds) of mentions of 'anal' in the results - so we haven't listed every single time someone said 'booty play'. Instead, we've plucked some select responses that paint a pretty graphic picture of what women shan't be doing in the bedroom anytime soon.
So, read on. Learn a little. And be respectful of women saying no in bed. Always.
What women really don't want to do in bed.
...or the kitchen, or in the shower, or wherever really!
"I can't do licking ass."
"Something the other person isn't comfortable with and vice versa - I'm pretty open to trying new stuff but both have to be ok with it."
"Go down on another female."
"Butt stuff."
"Anal. I've done it before, but it's not enjoyable for me."
"Swallow!"
"I hate the idea of sex that degrades anyone. Humiliation and hurting is out for me, not sexy."
"Golden showers."
"Be tied up. I hate it - I just find it completely unsexy."
"Probably anything anal performed on my partner."
"Talk dirty."
"Threesome."
"Hurt my partner. Even if he begged for it."
"Anything to do with scat."
"I honestly don't know. I sometimes think I'm too vanilla. But is that just what it feels like after 17 years of marriage?"
"Pee on someone or let someone pee on me."
"Anything that made me feel unsafe - anything rough or anything that needed a safe word."
"Vomit play."
"Open to most things and everyone has kinks, but I am not into feet being involved at all."
"Nothing involving degradation or shame."
"I'm very open-minded and have/would be willing to try most things. But specific fetishes like pooing on people (yes it's a thing!) is a big no for me."
"Call someone 'daddy'."
"Choking."
"My partner and I are in the BDSM scene. There are a lot of things I would do but the one thing that terrifies me is knife play. Some people love having a cold blade running down their skin. Not for me."
"Fingering anal."
"Use a strap on."
"Double penetration."
"I am in a long-term relationship, I would consider anything with my partner."
"Asphyxiation."
"Anything that involves putting my mouth near someone's arse, or something that has been in someone's arse."
"Break any kink boundaries."
"Scat."
"No yellow or brown play please and thank you."
"I will NEVER let a man ejaculate on my face. It feels so degrading to me."
"Getting tied up."
"Use a dildo on a man."
"Fart."
"Answer my phone or the door."
"Not a lot, I was a sex worker for five years in my early twenties. There's not a lot you become apprehensive to do in that profession. I no longer work in the field and I have been in a serious relationship with my partner for many years now. There isn't much either of us wouldn't be willing to do to each other. I do find BDSM very controversial because I have seen the behind-the-scenes and partaken in these activities. It's not always the progressive and forward-thinking scene it's portrayed to be."
"Bondage."
"Lick a butthole."
"Have sex with them before they've had an STI test."
"I'm not into tasting my own bodily fluids. My husband has always a fetish for me to give him a blow-job after he's been inside me and for me to essentially lick my own juices but I just can't. It is not appealing."
"Water sports."
"Not keen on anal. I partially attempted, and don't want to try again."
"Anal fisting."
"Have another girl join. I couldn't deal with sharing."
"Ask for the lights to be turned off."
"Pegging."
"S&M."
"Rape fantasy."
"Anal, deep throat. That's two things. There's more. I'm very vanilla."
"Golden showers."
"Let someone purposefully cum on my face."
"Use gags or restraints."
"50 Shades style sex."
"Put up with something painful or uncomfortable."
"A partner once asked me to ride him with a strap on. I think it's the only thing I've declined."
"Wouldn't enjoy calling or being called derogatory names."
"I'm very shy with the lights on so I'm less likely to do crazier things with them on."
"Piss play."
"I hate sucking dick."
"Don't kiss me once you've eaten my vagina. Yes it was good, yes I appreciate it but I don't want to taste it."
"Let anyone film it on a device I don't own and control."
"I don't like 69, it's too weird a position to be in with your heads in each other's bums."
"Rimming."
"Sex in a busy place."
"Let a man hold my head."
"I don't think I could have a threesome with someone I love."
"Fake an orgasm."
"Anything to do with poo."
"Drink pee."
"Anal. Bad experience in the past from an accidental slip... tried later on and it was never fun!"
"Invite another person to join."
"Have sex in front of other people."
"I'm not sure I'd like to watch myself/record myself having sex."
"Role play which imitates under age sex e.g. dressing up in a school uniform costume."
"Anything that my partner didn't want."
"Anal. My husband wants it so desperately. It's literally the only thing in our marriage we fight about."
"Go anywhere near the anus."
"I'm pretty open but I've been asked to defecate on a man and I refused."
"I love giving my boyfriend head, I still feel weird about swallowing and jump on top when I feel like he's not far off that point."
"Food in the bedroom."
"Extreme BDSM."
"As I get older, the list of things I'm not interested in gets longer!"
"Probably anal, but only because I have haemorrhoids."
"Put a sex toy in my butt."
"Watch porn."
"Let my partner come on my face. I let this happen for a while in a relationship then it just started feeling totally demeaning. It's off the menu now!"
"Spit in someone's mouth."
"Swap partners."
"Put food in my vagina - they are not sex toy substitutes."
"Anal. It just hurts and I can't get past the feeling of 'I'm doing a constant s**t'."
Read more:
- 'That's when he put pegs on my nipples...' 16 women tell us their dirtiest sex confessions.
- "I imagine I'm being watched": 12 women share the sex routine that gets them off every single time.
- "That's when I get the nipple clamps out." 8 women share their exact masturbation technique.
Feature Image: Mamamia
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