On Thursday afternoon, much-loved TV host Rebecca Judd gave birth to two healthy twin boys, Tom and Darcy.
Before she met them, they’d already spent nine months together. They’d shared a womb and grown side by side, entering the world completely unaware of what life would be like without the other. At just one day old, they have a bond not even their mother can understand.
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Wish it was still like that for me. My twin doesn't seem to want to be with me. Obviously our families are keeping us busy, but she'd rather spend time with her other friends. I actually moved away so that I don't feel left out - makes it feel a bit ok that she chooses other people over me when I'm 2 hours away and just see her every now and then. If I think about it too much, I'm heart-broken. Sorry for posting. Wishing all the best for these dear little boys and their family.
I too am a twin. Moving away from your twin just so you don't feel left out is weird. You are an adult, you don't need to be joined at the hip to your twin. You are two different people. Are you sure you are not projecting your insecurities onto your twin? Are you hard work to be around?
My sister and i have had our fair share of dramas over the years. Being a twin can be difficult. My sister moved to the other side of the country, and i miss her so much. It has made us a lot closer. I think because we finally have space from each other. A lifetime of being compared and judged as a pair takes its toll. I know my sister struggled with that a lot more than i did. Now she has this amazing life, seperate from me. And i love seeing her so happy, i love seeing her confidence improve.
Once you accept you have different lives and are different people, it enables the closeness to return.
I am sorry you are heart-broken. One of the best bits of advice i ever got was "stop having so many expectations of other people". Once you get rid of expectations, better and more realistic relationships become easier.
Are you fraternal or identical? I have fraternal girls...do you have any advice??
Fraternal, but we looked identical when we were younger.
My only advice (which you probably do anyway) is really let them be their own person; hobbies, friends, clothing.
My mum was pretty intense, and i don't think you are (from what i gather from your posts on here, i always like what you have to say)
And try not compare them. I know my sister struggled with this a lot more than i did. I had a lot more confidence than my sister, which often translated in me being more capable at things than she was (that sounds awful, i can't think of the right words to explain it without sounding cocky)
Don't expect them to have the same social circle. Often twins will, but often they won't. Just support them being themselves, individually. We were relieved to finally get our own bedrooms as teenagers.
We did loathe sharing a birthday (mum did always make sure we had our own cakes, which we loved) now as adults i love sharing a birthday.
Don't get me wrong, we love being twins. It's very special. But be prepared for them to go through phases of hating each other. It's normal.
Good luck :) xxx
Thank you for your response! My girls are very much individuals so we just let that play out as it is. The comparison thing is hard though, as well as having to switch in and out of parenting styles as they are both very different personality types, and it is a very fine line in being fair - I reckon I could apply for a job at UN with amount of negotiating and diplomacy required sometimes! Own cakes and rooms I will definitely keep in mind. I just hope they stay friends like you are with your twin.
I don't refer to my twins as "the twins" but as the children or the girls - they are their own people. And Bec stole my twins baby name - she must have good taste :)