For most couples, the thought of living and working together each day is just a big nope. It takes a special type of relationship to thrive on this constant togetherness.
Melbourne-based husband and wife team, Chris and Billie Christofi, live and work together – and share four kids. I’m exhausted just thinking about that, but the pair have developed an interesting rule to ensure harmony both at work and at home.
They call it the 49/51 percent rule. And it makes sense.
In every aspect of their lives, Chris and Billie ‘own’ either 49 percent or 51 percent. While they both have equal input into major decisions, and will take on board each others opinions, one person has the ‘casting vote’ based on their strengths.
Chris’ strengths are money, wealth, property investment, staffing and office decisions, so he has the casting vote on these, while Billie has the casting vote on family life, diet and food, exercise, holidays and anything home-related.
Speaking to Mamamia, Billie said the couple have been together for 14 years. They came up with the rule about six months after they began working together in 2011 after identifying their individual strengths and weaknesses.
Together they run seven companies in the financial services industry, and she described the rule as a “time and energy saver”. It’s a way for them to work together efficiently without needing to be across every little detail – because there are simply not enough hours in the day.
"It's good in the way that it helps you work as a team together," Billie said. "It’s to say we really respect one another and we’re going to listen to one another, but at the end of the day there’s too much on everyone's plate to focus on everything."
Billie says the rule has amplified the couple's appreciation for one another and that Chris trusts her implicitly, and vice versa. "It's not about ego, it's not about wanting to win every argument," she said.
Billie knows what decisions she can make unanimously - such as leaving work to attend a school event. Neither go unheard with both Chris and Billie able to persuade the other away from their percentage with a strong case.
"It comes down to trust. It comes down to respect and understanding and really good communication. That’s really key," she said. "In any relationship it's communication but even more so in a work/life relationship because you are together that much more and you don’t want to bring any problems home with you."
Billie said many of her friends are astonished by how much time her and Chris spend together, and often say they couldn't work with their partner as she does. She believes the 49/51 percent rule contributes to their success both personally and at work.
"We have four kids so life is extremely busy, and it works well for us. Like I said, it's all about communication."
Do you and your partner follow any relationship 'rules'? What are they? Tell us in the comments section below.
Top Comments
It's not a 0/100% rule - it's 49/51% with the emphasis on respect and communication, which should reduce the risk of their relationship failing. And they haven't assumed those areas of responsibility based on their gender, but after active reflection of their respective strengths - while I agree it would have been even more helpful if one of her strengths had been in one of those traditionally male dominated areas, the fact that it hasn't worked out that way doesn't meant that their process is wrong.
Their "respective strengths" just underlines the fact that they've both assumed normative roles in their lives, which means she is potentially already on the back foot. It's well documented that women are simply less literate or confident in "male" domains such as finances, which means you can hardly stand on an equal footing when it comes to a supposedly "equal" rule of negotiation.
It's akin to asking a lay person to engage in a 49/51% with a astrophysicist in a conversation about space: the lay person knows far less, so their 49% is much weaker and less involved, and likely also strongly influenced by what the more dominant, knowledgeable partner puts forward. In the setting described in this article, there is a very real risk for the female partner to trustingly acquiesce and not take an active role in educating herself - which will be to her detriment if the relationship fails.
Really? What year is it again?
It's 2018 and inequity still exists. Women are still financially disadvantaged and not encouraged enough to take an active role and interest in such matters. Shocking, isn't it?
I find this really irritating. Guest has said it way better than me so I won't labour the point - he's holding the reins in the traditionally "male" domains - which is a huge risk if the relationship fails. It is not necessarily something women, or any partner, should be aspiring to.