There are two types of friends you'd go to for advice. One of them should be avoided.

Hypothetically speaking, say you had some spicy news about yourself…maybe you hooked up with your problematic ex-boyfriend, maybe you've gone behind your colleagues back at work to get ahead, maybe you had six espresso martinis over the weekend when your doctor specifically told you to slow down?

There are two types of people you would approach with contentious stories like the ones above and these two types would say very different things.

Let me lay it out for you.

The affirmation friend.

Let's start with the first type — the affirmation friend.

The affirmation friend is probably the friend you're most likely to go to when you're doing something that you probably shouldn't be doing. They're the type of friend who will validate your feelings and choices no matter what.

The affirmation friend might say things like, "It's fine that you hooked up with him, everyone does it every now and then" or "you need to do what's best for you at work, don't worry about anyone else" or "six espresso martinis is nothing! You're totally fine, that doctor has no idea what they're talking about."

The reason why you're most likely to go to your affirmation friend for "advice" is because they're not really giving you advice, they're just telling you what you want to hear. And honestly, sometimes that's all you need.

You're an adult so you probably know that what you're doing isn't the best idea and you just need someone to put your mind at ease and tell you that it's completely fine.

However, if you dare, there is another type of person you can go to…

Listen to me argue why you shouldn't want to be the affirmation friend on the Mamamia Out Loud podcast. Post continues below.

The anti-affirmation friend.

The anti-affirmation friend is the direct opposite (as you might have guessed) and with good reason.

If this sounds a little bit biased, it's because it is… I am the anti-affirmation friend. I'm sorry but if you're looking for someone to indulge you, do not come to me. I'm (unfortunately) the person who will tell you how it is.

Here's how I would reply to the above hypothetical scenarios…

"Please don't hook up with him again, he's problematic, I hope you journaled about it and put it too rest now.

"You'll have to continue working with them now you've p**ed them off, it might be time to have an honest conversation about what you did."

"I'm really worried about your health especially because your doctor told you to slow it down, I think you need to be more careful."

Now I agree these sound so patronising and annoying but because I've confirmed my stance as the anti-affirmation friend, when my friends come to me with stories like these, they know that I'm going to show them tough love.

It's because I want the best possible outcome for my friend and I want to guide them into being the best possible versions of themselves.

Yes, at times, in the moment they hate me and get mad for being so upfront with them, but they always come around because they know that I'm just voicing that inner monologue of theirs that's saying "this is probably a bad idea."

Now, just because I'm an anti-affirmation friend, that doesn't mean that I don't need my own affirmation friends. Of course I do. The issue with going to my affirmation friends when I know that I'm in the wrong is that whenever they support my questionable behaviour, it convinces me that maybe what I'm doing isn't so bad (even though it is).

They're my friends, and my friends would tell me the truth right? Wrong. My friends are affirming my behaviour because they want me to feel happy, safe and they don't want to be "the bad guy." I however, am always the bad guy and (please read this is the most sarcastic tone you can muster up) I guess that's just the price you have to pay for being a good friend.

Be honest, are you the affirmation friend? Tell us in the comments below.

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem or sign up to receive the 'Outlouders' newsletter which she publishes every week.